Greetings from Bingo America

No, I was not selected to be a contestant... :(

My first clue was when I saw rush notices for paid audience members. So here I sit as a clapper. Oh well, at least I'm making money today.

And here's the inside scoop - host Patrick Duffy was replaced with Richard Karn, aka Al from Home Improvement. I talked to him. :)

More later...

Being a voice in "The Actors Voice"

When I started this blog I chose to make it as anonymous as anything on the web can be. These are personal rants, ramblings, moments of vulnerability and complaints that might cause industry professionals to think negatively of me. So imagine my surprise when a casting director left me a comment on my August 26th post! "Crap!" I thought, "Where did I slip up?" I looked the casting director up and was further confused by why her picture was utterly familiar to me, yet knew I hadn't met her...

As it turns out, she, Bonnie Gillespie, found me through an innocent web search (of sorts) and she's not only in casting, but also an author. I recognized Bonnie's picture because I see it every time I log onto Actor's Access, one of the submission sites I use, for which she writes an article "The Actors Voice." She works to stay in tune with actors needs and concerns to inform her writing. Specifically, my frustration with type casting and our correspondence here in the comments under that post were part of her September 1st article, "Your Type is a Shortcut."

I recently engaged in a little online conversation with a new-to-LA actor who was finding the whole "type" thing discouraging. Specifically, she's not too into the Hollywood obsession with actors playing their primary type "over and over" to the exclusion of all of the other types those actors can also be.

Fair enough. I get the frustration...

You can try clicking above on the title for the rest of the article, but it may be restricted to members. If so, Bonnie took the time to leave me some incredibly helpful advice in the comment below, which is basically the same as the article. The really ironic thing is at my last workshop, the casting director referenced one of Bonnie's books!

Big web, small world!

Bigots in Blacklick!

Ohio is already a saddening word to me right now, since a jet took my Manfriend back there this afternoon, then moments ago the local LA news made it even worse with a story about this sign:

After the report ran the hot female anchor turned to her co-host and asked, "Where was that, not here, right?" "Ohio," he replied. I kid you not - her response was: "Oh, that makes sense!"

"That makes sense???" NO! No, no, no, no! Nowhere, no time, no how does that make sense! Thank you "pastor" Allison from Blacklick for making Ohio look ignorant, offensive and bigoted.

What ever happened to churches teaching that whole 'love is patient and kind' thing? Havens Corners Church seems to prefer judgment and scare tactics.

I blame the iPhone...

So here's the thing, my life has been condensed to a 2 x 4 inch piece of electronic heaven that my Manfriend earned by reaching a sales goal at work! (Yes, he's sweet, but mine is the original and he got himself the 3G.)

I don't mean to brag, but I love my iPhone! There are moments and places where I can not connect to the internet, but for the most part, it is in every way as convenient as it's commercials make it out to be.

As a result, I actually spend LESS time online. I know, you'd think it'd be the opposite, but it's not. Instead of opening my laptop to check email and submit for new roles, I can do it quickly from my phone without being sucked into a routine of checking several websites, five times over. When I do go to my old internet haunts from my iPhone, I spend less time there and am less interactive because the iPhone is convenient, but not exactly "comfortable" for extended web surfing or typing.

So anyway, I simply haven't had my laptop open as much, which means I haven't blogged here. Sorry.

This past week I attended workshops three nights in a row - my usual class and two freebies from Universal. One was with the VP of Casting from ABC, a former tour guide! She didn't give us cold reads to perform for her; rather she took our headshots and resumes and shared wonderfully helpful information for about an hour and a half!

Speaking of wonderfully helpful information, a casting director actaully found this blog and left me some feedback on the post below! Be sure to click in and read it!

As for my Labor Day... my Manfriend is flying in this morning for four days. He chose to go to bed early last night, so morning would come sooner, whereas I am still awake at 5 a.m. for some stupid reason!

Today almost felt like I was getting ready for a really long date...
I went to the grocery to get him that white water, I mean skim milk, he drinks, and ingredients to make at least three "home cooked" meals. (The man can cook well, but I know he's depressingly surviving on take-out at work and TV dinners at home.) When I got back I actually took the time to pre-wash and chop my lettuce and slice some fruit so it wouldn't take away from our time together. How sappy! I did two loads of laundry tonight for the same reason. I polished my fingers and toes, among other girly maintenance, which all takes for freaking ever!

It's a funny thing, even after being with him for four and a half years, living with him for almost the entire time and knowing from very early on that it was serious, I almost feel nervous when he visits me here in LA. It's the excited kind of nervous because his visits really are like a long date; we are so happy to see each other, our passion and energy feels new again and I'm so eager to show him things I've talked about and try restaurants and store neither of us have been to... As fun as all that is, I still can not wait for the monotony of being together everyday again - managing a home together and dealing with each others every mood - good, bad and indifferent.
Anyone want to buy a beautiful home in northwest Ohio? :)

I'm about to get some sleep, but I feel guilty for not writing recently...

The main reason for that is good for me - I was working quite a bit at Universal. I got 35 hours last week and over 40 the week before that... As a result my throat is absolutely killing me! I've been nursing it with Throat Coat, my favorite tea. Although I haven't worked since Saturday, I still kind of sound like a phone sex operator!

Sunday I went to a free Stanislavski workshop at a playhouse in the Glendale/Los Feliz/ Silver Lake area, which is in The Valley, 20 to 40 minutes east of where I live depending of course on traffic. Silver Lake is an incredibly trendy, "hipster" type neighborhood. I've never been there and I don't really know what that means, but they literally use it as a type on breakdowns (aka electronic casting calls), "looking for Silver Lake, hipster types."

Anyway, I went to this acting school/theatre company which has a very nice, new, small black block theatre. It was so unbelievalbe refreshing to dive into the art of acting again and be reminded that my University training was not completely worthless! Most of the principles I was taught and continue to use are based in Stanislavski's theory. Of course, that's because Stanislavski was the first person to develop a system by which actors can hone their art form. Almost every acting style is based in his teaching, but many of today's truly great actors work fully in his "Method."

The casting director workshops that I've been going to since April are great - they've given me a lot of exposure, practice in cold reads and the audition process, as well as insight into the business side of Hollywood and its harsh realities. It can all be rather daunting, but this workshop revitilzed the reason I love what I do and want to become better and better at it! It can be so discouraging in this town when casting directors tell you, "find what type you are and play it over and over," and "you don't have to be good, you just need to be likable." I totally understand how both those things are true, but it's not very inspired. Even Stanislavski's theory admits that every character will be a part of who you are, but that is a very different notion than simply playing a stereotyped, talentless charicature of yourself!

A great example that was given at the workshop was the late Heath Ledger; his characters were vastly different in Brokeback Mountain and The Dark Knight, because he was an ACTOR, not merely a TYPE. Other famous Method actors include Meryl Streep, Al Pacino, Laurence Fishburne, Robert Redford, Dustin Hoffman, Johnny Depp, Stella Adler, Jennifer Connelly, Matt Damon, Christopher Walken, Naomi Watts...

There are many different acting theories. I like to think of them like religions; they're all pretty much founded in the same things, just with different ways of getting to the same desired result. I think it's good to be aware of all of them, but find what suites you best and study it to your fullest. For me, Stanislavski makes sense, because, again, he's pretty much the root of all the others and what I've already been loosely applying.

They told us upfront that the workshop was an audition! They also invited us to a monthly invite-only showcase of their company members tomorrow night. Yesterday I got a call from them saying they liked what I did at the workshop and hoped I'd consider joining the class. Did they call all twelve of us who attended the workshop Sunday afternoon? Probably.

I'm planning on going to the showcase to help make my final decision. The cost of their classes are reasonable and competitive, I just need to check around and see if I like the theory-based classes that are closer to my apartment.

If nothing else, the workshop lit a fire inside of me again about why I'm here! I know I have a lot of potential, but I'm still worlds away from being a really good actor. I could probably get by, playing small roles as the girl next door and hot chick, but that's not what I want. It's certianly not a great enough emotional and career pay-off considering I uprooted my life and that of the man who loves me.

Whether it's with this class, another, or on my own, I know I need to be doing much more than just casting director workshops. It doesn't matter what casting director sees me if I don't have the acting chops to deliver once they put me in front of producers and ultimately on a set!

A Worthless Workshop* and Celebrity Sightings!

Thanks goodness- I got a shift today, which means I do not have to pimp out my hands for clapping and face for smiling to the evil Howie Mandel! Although it would have been interesting to see what the taping process is like for Deal Or No Deal, I'm glad to miss that opportunity because, again, I've heard it's absolutely horrible!

Speaking of negative experiences, the Universal workshop last night was pretty deflating... I had my dates mixed up and last night's guest was an associate from a pretty big talent agency (the VP of Casting at ABC is next week). Her agency only represents guest stars and better, not developing talent, which we all are. Meaning being there wasn't bringing any use the opportunity to be signed, it was just meant to be informative.

Like any occupation, getting into it is a catch 22; you have to have experience to get a job, but you need a job to get the experience! You need to be SAG (the actors union) to get a really great agent and great roles, but you need a damn agent to get jobs that qualify you for SAG! She didn't have hugely helpful advice, which is fine because the reality of this business is that there's no *magic* formula, it is based a lot on *luck*. Gggrrr! The deflating part was just her general tone... Most of us already knew everything she said, sometimes it's just hard to hear it in such a blunt way.

To top it off, she went through all our headshots, held them up and critiqued them in front of everyone. We all wanted her to do that, but I think she was a tad harsher than we expected. Out of like twenty pictures, she only really like ONE!

She hated mine, saying "It doesn't look like a professional headshot. It looks like a pretty girl who wants to be an actress." "It was taken by a professional." I defended. "Yeah, well, wedding photographers are professional too, but that doesn't mean they're good." She quipped. (We all pathetically defended in one way or another, "My agent picked that pictures, I don't really like it..." "I have others..." "I just got new ones taken but don't have them yet.")

Don't get me wrong, she wasn't a huge bitch, she was actually pretty funny. Her candor, or tough love, was appreciated, but still a little hard to swallow and damn depressing. *I don't really think it was worthless, that's just the best alliteration I could come up with for the title...

In other news, I finally saw some famous people on the lot! It happened so quickly I didn't even have time to tell my guests. Both Dana Delany and Ricardo Chavira of Desperate Housewives drove by in production vans. I just caught a glimpse of them through the windows. After we passed the Wisteria Lane area (which was closed today because they were filming) my driver said, "Did you see the brunette actress walking down the road on her cell phone?" "NO! Which one was it?" He didn't know! What an ass for not yelling at me when he first saw her; unlike a moving van, a person walking is slow enough to point out to the tram passengers. Since the tour guides sit facing the guests with our back to the trams windshield, we tend to miss things... I'm surprised none of my guests saw her. If they did, they didn't make much noise and didn't tell me at the unload area. The guide in the tram right behind me said it was Terri Hatcher and she did look up and wave to his passengers!

Ah well... I just have to stay satisfied with the biggest star I have met at Universal - our tour guide manager, Ben Salisbury. He played Brighton, the son on The Nanny!

This week...

Sunday: Work at Universal, aka, Tramming... sounds dirty, huh?!

Monday: A Non Union Feature Film audition and a Universal Workshop with a casting director I'd previously met in my other class... That's good because maybe now I'm in her head, but it also would have been nice to meet someone new.

Tuesday: Groceries, laundry and my usual casting workshop, at which I had one of the most awkward cold reads ever! The casting director works on Everybody Hates Chris, among other things, so I was expecting comedy, but I first got a break-up scene. It went well; not the best work for either the guy I was paired with or I, but okay. Then, because a classmate didn't show up, I was paired with a second scene partner. "Great!" I thought, "this gives me an opportunity to show her something else, and hopefully this script will be comedy."

Okay, first let me describe my second scene partner; he's the oldest person in the class, maybe 50 or 60, with a slow, grandpa-esq vibe. I don't know if acting class is a hobby for him or what; I know this sounds mean, but he just plain sucks! I've never seen him do prepared work, so perhaps he's just bad at cold reads. He always sounds like he's reading, he never delivers the line in a natural way. He also "indicates," which is an acting term for obvious, unnatural, novice gestures.

Of course, we were supposed to be a couple. Awkward! He's my dad's age! On top of that, in the first few lines the female was trying to avoid going into the bedroom to get it on. REALLY AWKWARD! Then he gets all mad because it's their wedding night and come to find out she's not a virgin... She's not a virgin because she was raped by her step father when she was eight. Wow!

It was a scene from the movie Beyond the Sea with Kevin Spacey and Kate Bosworth portraying the real life story of singers Bobby Darin and Sandra Dee.

The worst part was at the beginning of the scene our classmates laughed at my scene partner, they thought his delivery and the basic idea of us together was funny, especially the way he said the line, "You're not a virgin?!" They stopped after I said the line, "He was my stepfather. I was only eight." Laughter turned to awkward, awkward silence.

It was one of those moments that makes you thing, "Well if I can get through that...!"

Today: My agent called at 3 p.m. requesting I get to an audition by 6 p.m. I saw the call, but my phone honestly didn't register that voice mail (or three others) until late in the evening. I don't know what the audition was for, but I was at work until 7 anyway. Oh well.

After work I could've gone to a nearby bar to hang out with my coworkers and watch them put on a talent show of sorts. (I guess it's a typical hangout for them, it happens to have a stage which they took over because it's not busy on Wednesdays.) However, after an emotional phone call I just didn't feel like drying my hair, putting on makeup and socializing.

After two months with a for-sale-by-owner sign in the front yard, my beau listed our house with a realtor. The realtors partner, who supposedly specialized in staging came through to give her two cents on how things should be rearranged before they come to take interior pictures. I used to watch all the home selling shows on HGTV, so I know how it goes; she didn't give any major adjustments that surprised us and she reiterated some things I've been saying. However, I think it's a natural reaction to be defensive in this situation and I think a few of her critiques are just plain stupid! It made me wonder, "What the hell does she do when she walks into a house that IS cluttered and tacky?"

For example, I have a classy floating shelf in our master bathroom with three objects of descending size on it. (If you know anything about decorating, you know the rule of threes!) Anyway, she said to only have one thing on the shelf. I KNOW only one thing would look lonely, pathetic and odd. It's not clutter, nor is it a personal type item that would make someone think "there must not be enough storage in the cabinet." Not the mention the fact that it's NOT going to sway a buyer one way or the other - it's a fucking shelf clock and candle! However, she did not notice that the chandelier's cord and chains over our piano in what used to be a dining room is ill-measured, tacky and in desperate need of one of those velvet chandelier cord scrunchies. Yeah, she specializes in staging my ass...!


Never mind who she was or what she said, the hard part is the reality that we're giving up something we worked really hard to make our own. We may not have kids yet, but we still have a lot of memories in that house and a lot of valued possessions that we have to pack up and put in storage. I'm living the life I chose for myself in a very difficult profession, one I always knew I would pursue. My manfriend* on the other hand, is giving up a comfortable lifestyle he worked is ass off for to be with me, in a place where we can't be home owners anytime soon. As I told him on the phone, "I'd live with you in a cardboard both as long as we were together." But I can't help but feel guilt because of his sacrifices. I just want our lives back to normal but in comparison to all our space and comforts in Ohio, it's going to be a long time before that can be a reality.

Thursday: Tramming. I'll have only a half hour to get the nasty stench of tour guide off of me before attending a Universal Workshop where the guest will be the Vice President of Casting for ABC!!! How amazing is that?! She used to be a tour guide.

Friday: If I can pick up a shift at Universal, I'll take it, otherwise I'll drive to Culver City to be paid audience for Deal or No Deal, shaking my head and rolling my eyes at myself the whole time. I've heard it's the absolute worst show taping to sit through. It's $64 for 8 hours, but they anticipate 10. 10 hours of case opening madness! After 8 hours it becomes time and a half, and anything beyond that becomes double time. Seriously, if it were to take more than 10 hours those damn models would surely start poking Howie's eyes out with their stilletos!

Saturday: I could go to a group audition for a play paying "homage to THE TWILIGHT ZONE," but I don't know anything about that show and while the plays run of four Wednesday nights would be okay, it rehearses on Saturday and Sunday afternoons, which is terribly inconvenient. So, like Friday, if I can pick up a Universal shift, I'd take it instead.

* Note, if you understood the term "manfriend," that must mean you've seen the Sex and the City movie! That's what Carrie calls Big when they discuss the fact that "boyfriend" just does not do justice to their relationship. Boyfriend carries a certain level of immaturity and instability. Not getting married is a choice we've made and one of the negatives of that is not quite having the right term for one another. "Partner" and "significant other" just don't sound right either. "Beau" works for me when I'm writing, but I don't say it; I think it would confuse people. "What? Are you talking about ribbon now???"

Working my ass off!... for lack of a better title.

I have worked at Universal ten of the past twelve days. Again, I know to some of you that's no big deal, but for the past couple years I have been a freelance speaker and entertainer, so putting in a conventional 40 hour work week is something my body is not used to!

Unfortunately, the summer season is winding down, so it's time for me to start looking for yet another job to supplement the impending lack of Tour Guide shifts.

For today though, I'll be focusing on an audition for a non-union feature film. I submitted for a character described as "21, rare combo of beauty, book and street smarts; a fighter." However, they've called me into read for "25, hot Latina--but resentful, angry, with a lot of edge. Must speak fluent Spanish." Right... No abla Espanole!!! Is this the Catherine Zeta Jones effect? Dark hair and eyes equals Latina? (Although she's from Whales, she played a Latina in Zorro.)

My beau said, "maybe you should let them know you don't speak Spanish so you don't waste the trip..." Nope! One thing I've learned is that if you have the opportunity to get in front of a casting director in this town, you take it! They called me in - they're going to see me! Who knows what they may think I'm right for in this, or other productions...

Speaking of getting in front of casting directors, tonight and Thursday I will attend free workshops hosted by Universal, as well as my normal acting class/casting workshop on Tuesday.

I should get some sleep, but I'm too distracting trying to decide if I should wear my big hoop earrings tomorrow, or is that too stereotypically Latina? :)

The Border Governors Convention Continued... I didn't see The Governator, but I did get close to a big screen legend!

Again, I worked a shift as an STA (Studio Tour Assistant) yesterday for a special event hosted by Governor Schwarzenegger.

I clocked into work at 4 p.m. and didn't do a damn thing until 6:30 p.m., when they transported us to our stations. I was with two other young women at the City Walk pick-up point.

[City Walk is sort of like an outdoor mall right off the theme parks entrance, except it's full of stores that I can't believe stay open... It has Lush, a soap store, as well as a store full of nothing but socks and a giant candy store! There's a Guess? accessories store, a Billabong, Sketchers shoes store, Hot Topic and a couple obnoxious Hollywood souvenir shops. The restaurants include a Hard Rock Cafe, Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. and Tony Romas. There's also a movie theatre, a sky diving simulator and it's all complete visual over stimulation!

I recently wrote on the annual employee satisfaction survey that having to walk from the parking garage through City Walk to get to the employee gate is the worst part of my job! It's always god-awful congested with tourist aimlessly wandering. I understand that those tourist pretty much write my paycheck, but I swear, my legs are bruised from all the seemingly parentless children that change course in a split second and bounce right off of you and my stomach gets nauseated from the overwhelming stench of sunscreen! This will sound awful, but the demographic does not look to me like they could afford any of those stores or overpriced restaurants. I kind of feel like I'm on a busy midway of a county fair and I can not fathom why people are there.]

Anyway, some of the conference goers were at two different receptions at halls inside the theme park. When they emerged in smaller groups they hopped in vans or small buses to get down to the back lot gala. Only twice was there a surge of people that utilized our four-car tour trams, meaning I stood around for about two hours and closed only two tram doors.

I have to admit, it was an odd feeling for me; I'm used to being on the other side. For the past two years my partner and I have attended similar upscale conventions for his company, one in Las Vegas and a few months ago in San Diego. I'm normally the woman in the fancy party dress and high heels, with a glass of wine in hand enjoying the free food, as opposed to the insignificant hourly employee in the horrible uniform. Unlike events I've attended, these folks were all scanned with hand-held metal detectors and all purses were inspected before they boarded a vehicle to go to the gala!

Once all the guests were at the gala, we were on an hour meal break. A co-worker who was lucky enough to be stationed on the back lot to open the doors said Damian Lewis, the star of NBCs crime drama LIFE and another actor whose name he couldn't remember rolled up on a golf cart and took pictures on the events "green carpet."

"Why the hell were actors at a conference about border relations?" I asked. We're still not sure... My co-worker also saw NBC's president and Mexican dignitary types who he didn't know, but not The Governator.

Around 10 p.m. we all loaded into a van and headed down to the back lot to load the now even more drunk government/corporate officials and spouses. Our tour guide dispatch/break room building overlooks the back lot and San Fernando Valley and it was an absolutely gorgeous view of the city lit up below us. On the way down we took a road that is not part of the tour and that I've never been on - we went right past a camp of 8 to 10 trailers belonging to the actors of Desperate Housewives! We were dropped off on the side Sound Stage 50 which houses our Earthquake animation, a pretty boring part of our back lot. Nonetheless, I was in awe! Even though I drive through the lot giving tours all the time, standing on the lot is still overwhelming. Plus, it was cool and creepy to be there at night! The nearby western sets looked especially spooky in the dark!

We stood around chatting while loud dance music and yellow and purple lighting poured out of the nearby Little Europe/Square of Warriors sets. As anticipated, the party goers left in even, small groups in the vans and small shuttles. The trams, drivers, STA's and bilingual guides waiting nearby were never used. Around midnight we loaded back up and left.

On the way back to up to clock out, our van driver went off road and onto the dock of the Jaws animation to give us a closer look at Bruce, the mechanical shark. Each night he's lifted out of the water, which was pretty damn cool to see:

Getting paid to blog!

Kind of...

I'm at work blogging from my phone, which is actually a one-fingered pain in the ass, but still awesome that I have this ability!

So if you were "The Governator" where would you host a conference of all the US and Mexican governors whose states are on the boarder? At a movie studio, of course!

I agreed to work an extra shift from 4 to midnight as an "STA" for this special event. That stands for "studio tour assistant" and means I'll be opening and closing tram doors as we transport hundreds of conference-goers from their hotels to our back lot for a gala. That's right- our back lot! They'll be throwing a party at The Square of Warriors (where Sparticus, The Scorpian King and Pricess Diaries II all filmed scenes) as well as Little Europe (which has a filmography a mile long).

It gets under way at 7, so we've just been sitting arond... I'm told we'll likely get out early, but still be paid for 8 hours!

I love working here!

Work... Olympics... Acting Class... Work... Olympics... Work... Olympics...

I am so thankful to actually be getting a lot of shifts at Universal since getting back in LA. I worked this past Thursday, Saturday and Sunday and will work today, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday! I know for those of you with set schedules that's no big deal, but it's exciting for me since I'm low on seniority and had not been getting enough hours. Not to mention the fact that it's keeping me busy and pulled me out of the funk I was quickly settling back into after being reminded how wonderful home is.

I've also been really inspired by the Olympics. I am not at all a patriotic person, in fact an overabundance of patriotism usually annoys the shit out of me and is quite frankly frightening. Nor am I a die hard fan of any given sports team. But, there's something undeniable about the Olympics. More about that later... It's too great of an emotion to put into words right now. A simpler great thing about the Olympics is that it's something we all agree on in the Tour Guide break room! I watch it at work, then coming home to watch it makes me feel like less of a loser. I'm not out doing something fun and exciting because I'm in my apartment watching the Olympics! A perfectly acceptable excuse for lacking social interaction! :)

Tonight, however, I was at two acting classes until 10:30 p.m.ish. First I had my normal acting class that I've attended for a few months now. I did my scene first then left early to go to a free casting director workshop at Universal. It was great! For the cold read my scene partner and I were perfectly cast with a fantastic and funny script, in which I used an accent and even got to sing!

Then I came back to my place to catch mens gymnastics and some swimming!

Anyway... I have an 8:30 a.m. shift, so I don't know why I'm blogging....

Damn Dancing!!!

By doing a monologue from Sex and the City as the character Charlotte I advanced to the dancing round yesterday afternoon at the audition for a pop culture parody show for Universal's Halloween Horror Nights.

I changed into black pants and a white jacket to look like Agent 99 from Get Smart for the dancing audition. I danced my ass off, but despite my best efforts, I was not lucky on 8.8.08! I was cut after the dancing round. I'm kind of pissed because the dancing seemed to become more important than how much you looked like the character or how well you could act like them. I especially find it to be bull shit because they're auditioning dancers separately- just to dance!
Why can't actors just act?

Anyway, I just watched the opening ceremonies of the Olympics - WOW!

I'm working in 90+ degree heat the next two days, so I need to get some sleep...

Help! Have you seen Get Smart???

Today I got back on the horse, or tram, in this case and worked at Universal. Despite not giving the tour in over two weeks, I was surprisingly not nervous about stalling or being evaluated. That's due mostly in part to the massive amount of "quiet zones" we had, meaning areas in which the guide can't talk on mic because it would disturb nearby filming. Ghost Whisperer, Desperate Housewives and New York Film Academy students were all using parts of the back lot.

By the end of the day one of the productions, Ghost Whisperer, I believe, was stopping trams for for five to ten minutes at a time, causing major back-ups. My last tour was stalled for quite a while at three separate points; I felt bad for the guests because I couldn't entertain them with stall material or play the audio on the video clips. On the other hand, it was a huge relief that it was a quite zone because I don't know how the hell I would have filled that much time. I did run back and forth to talk to cars two, three and four in person, which is much easier than fluidly filling time on mic.

My last tour took an hour and fifteen minutes (they're normally forty-five), and we didn't even complete it! We were two-thirds done and were past all the productions and quiet zones, but since the people had been on the tram over an hour, management routed us directly back to the unloading line. It was a decision I did not agree with. We'd already endured the hold-ups, why not go through the good, uninterrupted parts? I was livid for my guests, but surprisingly no one complained to me about missing Jaws, Whoville, the Psycho House, War of the Worlds AND the freaking Mummie's tomb. My last tour pushed me into over-time; after being off, giving four tours today has left me extremely exhausted.

But anyway, the point of this was that at work today I found out about an audition for Universal's Halloween show. Like most theme parks, Universal does a whole scary, not-kid-friendly, evening Halloween thing with haunted tours and whatnot... Part of it is a pop culture parody show. I'll be auditioning to play Kristen Davis, as seen in Sex and the City as Charlotte York and Ann Hathaway, as seen in Get Smart as Agent 99.

I know I resemble both of them and putting the wardrobes together are easy enough, but I don't know what to do for the one minute monologue for Agent 99. I haven't seen the movie or TV show and in the clips I've found on line Agent 99 has limited dialogue.

Here's the biggest problem - the audition is at noon TODAY!

Angelina Jolie, ala Wanted is also on the character list, but there again, I haven't seen the movie yet, so I wouldn't know what to do past replicating the wardrobe and drawing on some tattoos! LOL!

So, if you have any ideas about speaking and being like Agent 99, please leave a comment!

Thanks!

Worse than I imagined!

Coming back to LA after two weeks home was far more difficult than the sadness of taking my significant other to the airport at the end of his visits.

I really can not manage to pull myself out of bed; I would if I had to, but I don’t. It’s so frustrating… While I was visiting home I missed the callback to co-host the PBS kids show, a direct request to audition for a film from a casting director I met in acting class, two free acting classes, unpaid extra work in a feature film and five work shifts!

You can say "meant to be/ not meant to be" about the acting stuff, so it’s actually the work shifts that I’m most upset about. Universal Tour Guides are part of a union, meaning we’re scheduled based on seniority. When you’re not scheduled you can call in and pick up a shift via a random drawing of everyone who calls in… I get lucky and pick up extra shifts about a third of the times I try; last week they were so busy, they were calling me! Unbelievable!

Like I said in a previous post, it’s Murphy’s Law! I’m trying to stay positive, but when I look at the list of things above that I missed over the past two weeks and my empty schedule this week, I can’t help but feel like the odds are against me.

I also can’t help but feel emptiness in and hatred for my LA apartment. While I try not to be materialistic, it’s more than that... Being home reminded me that my life in LA seems like a domestic step backward. I feel like I’m in college again – sharing a small apartment, having my desk and virtually all my possessions in my small bedroom, storing my socks and undies in plastic drawers instead of a real dresser, with bedding and décor that is my girly personal style, as opposed to the more neutral, refined, shared style my man and I created in our home.

I need to realize that apartment living is not “college living,” rather, it’s “city living.” But having grown up in a big farm house, then living in a suburban, soccer mom paradise for the past four years, I don’t have anything else with which to associate this. I go back and forth – trying to remind myself it’s only temporary, then wanting to do things to improve it… but improvement and comforts cost money… which would be fine for someone starting on their own, but I have a whole house full of things that will eventually be here, making it stupid for me to buy duplicates…

I guess the bottom line is that being home reminded me how different and crappy my life is in LA, compared to the companionship and comforts I have in Ohio.

Here’s a post about my apartment that I wrote on back in May or June; I didn’t publish it, in attempts to stay positive, but today that’s a lost cause…

My New Apartment

With both time and money limitations, my roommate and I couldn’t be too picky when it came to our new apartment. We are grateful to have found a place in our budget that has our top priorities: gated entry, second floor, gated and covered parking, central air conditioning, desirable location, two bedrooms and two bathrooms.

However, once I finished moving in last Monday, I realized it’s a little rough around the edges. Mind you, I am NOT complaining. If I wanted a cushy life, I would have stayed in Ohio. I’m here to work and I know this place really is great in many, many ways. For memories sake though, I have to record the facts… I’ll phrase them in positive ways just for fun!

My shower head/stall makes me feel really tall!

The kitchen window faces north, which is great because I like to have my African violet in the kitchen and its purple blooms compliment the... interesting... mauve countertops!

Letting my roommate have the master bedroom with fabulous walk in closet and attached bathroom makes me feel like a kind and giving person.

Sliding vertical blinds in all the windows are nifty, especially in my bedroom!

There’s not an outgoing mail slot, which is awesome because I’ll get exercise walking to a mailbox or post office!

I’m glad there’s absolutely no lighting in my bedroom, shopping for lamps was fun, I totally had the time and extra money to do that!

I like that the A/C vents into our bedrooms don't work so well, making them 10* hotter than the living room, it's like a free sauna!

It's fantastic being right above the crazy apartment manager, I feel so safe... and quiet!

The longest day ever...

Today I've walked through three time zones, but the following is all converted to LA time...

1 a.m. - I left my beautiful Toledo home for the Detroit airport.

3:40 a.m. - My plane was supposed to take off.

4:25 a.m. - My plane actually took off.

A couple hours later - With only 30 minutes to change planes in Denver, I not only made it, I also signed up for an airline credit card with which I get a "free" round-trip flight! There's actually a $50 fee, but hell yeah! GREAT DEAL!

10 a.m. - A couple more hours and a screaming brat later, we landed on schedule at LAX.

10:20 a.m. - I finally exited the plane; before baggage claim - Starbucks!

11:20 a.m. - After a half hour wait, I was on the $4 Flyaway shuttle to the Van Nuys station.

12:30 p.m. - After a $25 / 8 mile cab ride I was back in my apartment, but not for long...

1 p.m. - I rushed to keep a dreaded annual medical appointment schedule two months ago.

1:50 p.m. - I FINALLY got into an exam room.

2:45 p.m. - At the apartment again I quickly ate, showered, printed and filled out a 20 page contract and got things together for acting class.

4:45 p.m. - I dropped off the contract to the Gameshow Network office in Burbank... aka - I was asked to take the next step in becoming a Bingo America contestant.

5:15 p.m. - I arrived in Hollywood to rehearse with my scene partner before class; he wasn't on time so I fell asleep on a couch/set piece.

6 p.m. - now (9:30 p.m.) - Acting class... I'm currently being a bad student/peer and blogging from my iPhone. :)

Not soon enough - Food and sleep.

iPhone blogging from Denver...

My flight from Detroit left 40 minutes late, now I'm near a screaming two year old.

Lovely.

As promised, I have a hell of a story about getting to the airport to fly home… I’ll share it, but I really don’t want any comments lecturing me about how stupid I was!

I had a ticket for Monday July 21, but moved it up to Sunday to surprise my boyfriend…

I live about 15 miles from LAX (or 30 to 90 minutes. LOL!) Of course, parking at the airport is horribly expensive and I didn’t want to leave my car there for over a week. With my flight leaving at 9:15 a.m., that meant asking someone to get up pretty early, but I was able to secure a lift to the airport… for Monday.

When I decided at 3 a.m. Saturday to move my flight up, I knew I was running a big risk, but I decided it was worth it. I was on pins and needles all day Saturday waiting to hear if my original ride could take me Sunday instead; at 5 p.m. I found out they could not. I had already priced a cab and looked at the bus routes; yes, I know more than one person in LA, but I can’t tell you how much I hate asking people for things! Especially on such late notice, and airport transport is almost as bad as helping someone move – no one wants to do it! With cab fares nearly as bad as parking at the airport, I resigned myself to the fact I’d have to take the bus.

No big deal… people use the bus everyday. I’ve been meaning to figure out how to use the public transit system, but hadn’t forced myself to do it. I knew it had to be easy, but I felt so stupid! Do I have to get a ticket? Can I pay the driver? How do I know which bus goes where? I’d heard horror stories – that the buses are unreliable, the people are scary and that your trip takes three-times longer…

I had visited the official LA public transit website several times but still didn’t feel confident in the logistics. The bus schedules and maps are difficult to read; fortunately they have a trip planner in which you just enter your destination and it tells you where to go. Although there’s a bus stop right in front of my apartment, I’d have to walk three-fourths of a mile to another one to catch a 5:45 a.m. bus. It would take me three miles east to the hub at Universal Studios where I’d have to find the Red Line to go to the Flyaway terminal in Van Nyce, which is several miles west of both Universal, my apartment and the first bus stop. From Van Nyce I’d take the third bus south, directly to LAX, arriving an hour and a half later at 7:15 a.m. and costing a total of $6.50.

I “pulled an all-nighter” packing, the entire time mulling over the reality of my situation. At six in the morning, the bus should be safe, right? But I’ll be a single white female with a large suitcase and matching carry-on, a clear target of vulnerability with a high likelihood of valuable possessions. Indeed, I’d be carrying a laptop, digital camera, yet to be activated iPhone and two Coach purses! What if I missed one of my connections? What if I missed my flight?! Was I seriously going to roll my big-ass suitcase nearly a mile down the street at 5 in the morning?

Yes, yes I was, and I was damn proud of myself! Why not take the bus?! I’d be saving myself money, saving someone else gas, saving the environment emissions (maybe), I wouldn’t owe anyone for taking me and most of all, I’d prove to myself I could do it! At one point I just told myself to just shut the fuck up! It’s public transportation, it’s there for people to use! It can’t be that hard! It’s a bus, not a subway, which seems like it should be safer… But then as the five o’clock hour drew closer, I was once again overwhelmed by the fear. No matter how I acted or dressed, being alone and carrying luggage put a target on my back.

But what could I do!? I left my apartment at 5:15 a.m. I had hoped it would be light out, but it was not. As I walked by the bus stop in front of my apartment, with the wheels of my suitcase making a racket on the sidewalk past all the apartment buildings, I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. Not only was it odd as a small town Ohioan, but also as an LA resident. People in LA do not walk. Anywhere.

When I reached the main road a problem I had anticipated came to fruition. The bus stop was not where it had looked to be on the map, but there were stops on the other three side of the damn intersection. Great! How was I to know which one was right? I wheeled past the 24 hour diner at on the corner and asked the only other person waiting; he pointed me to the stop in the opposite direction. As I wheeled back past the restaurant a group of diners on the patio called out to me. “Do you need… help?” I told them which stop I was looking for and they whipped out their phones to use their GPS… They asked where I was going and then they explained that the Flyaway hub was the opposite direction and only sends buses from Van Nyce to LAX and back, every 15 minutes. “You mean I’m going to Universal, to then go all the way back to Van Nyce?” (I know I explained that above, but had not realized it until they told me.)

“Let us finish our breakfast and we can drop you off in Van Nyce.”

I know this sounds like a bad idea, I in that moment I knew there was no way I was turning them down! Of course I asked, “Are you serious? You would do that?”

Before you start freaking and writing long comments about my safety, hear me out… In addition to just being a damn good deal, two things made me immediately say yes. #1. There’s strength in numbers. They were three twenty-something females and two guys. This sort of offer from a singer person, or even a couple would have seemed odd, but these were clearly a group of friends who trusted one another and were accountable for one another. #2. I immediately got a good vibe. I know, I know, con artists specialize in creating a false sense of security, but I believe that 9 times out of 10 we can trust our intuition about people. Their helpfulness was genuine.

They said, “We’ve already helped one girl in need tonight, we have to help you…”

I joined them and ordered a cup of coffee. As it turns out, they all knew each other from AA meetings. That night they had gone to a rave-type event at the Santa Monica Pier. They said it had strangely turned out to be a non-event; there was no live music, no… anything, yet 25 thousand people had shown up, of course many of them were on one substance or another. They noticed a young woman passed out on the beach. Before long she drew a crowd of people making jokes and taking pictures. The women I met tried to wake her and when they realized the severity of the situation, the guys went to find a cop. When she did come to, they said she literally shot up and ran away like a scared wild animal. Ironically they ran into her again, she was clearly tripping on something hard and her friends had left her. The women insisted on helping her and though she didn’t make it easy, they eventually got her to tell them where she lived and took her home. She called them her “crack angels,” thus indicating one of the substances she may have been on!

Among the group, there were varying levels of familiarity; one of the guys realized it was his thirtieth day of sobriety and one of the women got him a “thirty day chip” from her car. He was so overwhelmed by what the women had done for the girl on the beach, he kept calling them heroes, picked up the tab for breakfast and had the waiter bring them chocolate cake…

One of the women who said she was a preschool teacher had purple hair, the thirty-day guy looked like Dave Navarro and another woman chattered away about everything from incorporating a new AA member more, to an accidental bank overdrafts and wondering how she’d pay her rent in a few days… They were real people supporting one another and offering me genuine help out of the goodness of their hearts.

Sure, getting in a car with a total stranger is never ever a good idea, but I’ve learned you just have to trust your gut! I immediately trusted these perfect strangers much more then the LA transit system and my ability to navigate it!

So instead of an hour and a half and three buses, I had coffee, met interesting people and took a 10 minute car ride, then a 15 minute bus ride straight to the airport…

I figured my boyfriend and another good friend would kill me when they heard what I had done, but they both said at least I got to know them, and had plenty of time to get out of the situation if it had turned odd. Also in my defense, if anything would have happened, one other Ohio friend knew my plan of taking the bus.

Shaken by being... unshaken.

My partner adamantly believes that everything happens for a reason.

Although no injury or damage is being reported and the epicenter was nearly 50 miles from my apartment, by missing my flight this morning I missed the 5.4 earthquake that hit Los Angeles at 11:42 a.m. local time.

Holy shit.

I missed my f*ing flight back to LA!

I am so exhausted from stress right now...

I stood in the CHECK IN line, not even the usually problematic security line, for nearly an hour and missed my flight "due to the incompetence of Spirit airlines employees," as my significant other has now told four different customer service employees via phone. "I've been in customer service for fifteen years and if I treated people the way she was treated I wouldn't have a job!" Despite his very valiant efforts, we've been given the telephone runaround, from India to Detroit and back, and it seems to be a lost cause. Another woman my age (who I noticed and remember by the bad bridesmaid dress she was carrying around) waited for an hour and a half in two different check-in lines and also missed the same flight.

So here I sit in my Toledo living room feeling a million emotions, all of which are heightened by tiredness.

I feel pretty stupid because my beau and I have to shoulder much of the responsibility for both believing the standard time frames were to get to the airport an hour before domestic flights and two hours before international flights. After all, I was at my gate in only twenty minutes at LAX when I flew home last week. When the unhelpful Spirit Airline employee snapped that I should have been there two to three hours early, I ironically quipped, "THREE HOURS for a domestic flight?! There's no way your website says that!" Actually... it does. Damn it.

I am obviously tired and frustrated. I've been awake since 4 a.m. and we just lost half of what we originally spent and will now have to spend more to get me back to LA. I wish I could have found a better way to handle the situation; I've taken Dale Carnegie courses! But no amount of niceness, persuasion or bitchiness helped. Both the attendant and her supervisor were utterly unhelpful and and borderline rude; they barely spoke loud enough, they did not make eye contact and had horrible grammar. "She ain't gonna make it."

Part of the problem is that all passengers had to check in on a touch screen monitor; like "you scan" at the grocery, one employee watches two or three monitors. I argue that human-to-human service is faster because most passengers took a while acclimating themselves with the machine. The other woman who missed the flight had already checked in online, but still had to wait with everyone else to print her boarding pass and check luggage.

I had to get back for my free Universal Studios acting class tonight and I am scheduled to work tomorrow... But, "what's done is done," as my dad would say, so I'm not really dwelling on what I'm missing; I'm too occupied dwelling on bigger issues.

I'm happy I get to stay longer. That's to be expected and there's nothing wrong with it, I worry though, that the longer I stay the harder and harder it will become to go back to LA. I frequently told people this week that everything about LA is indescribably difficult and that I've have ups and downs; they'd get that look on their faces and I'd quickly continue, saying it's not like I'm giving up and moving back. I'm there to stay, it's just hard. To make going back to the land of difficulty easier, I had hoped our house would just be a house, that I'd be terribly bored and wonder how I ever tolerated living in Ohio... Our house, however, is still a beautiful home full of memories, I was not bored and although it's more difficult to the stomach tacky people, hickish homesteads and small minded thinking, the places and people I prefer are still familiar and relaxing.

I am so stuck in my head right now, thinking, I should be itching to get back to LA, to my acting classes and auditions, but right now I am so tired and frustrated I just don't care. I can hear my acting teacher annoyingly saying, "your career is a ship and you are the captain, I am here to help guide you as much as you allow me to... did you bring my check?" After we drove an hour back home this morning we checked options online; we could have immediately rushed back to DTW to *hopefully* catch a flight landing in LA at 3 p.m., but there was no way I was being peeled off the couch or dragged back into that fucking airport.

Other than one lousy shift, I don't have anything on my schedule this week; I'm sure if I go back, nothing will come my way, but if I stay here a few more days all sorts of opportunities will pass me by. I hate this! I hate how geographically far away my career is. I hate how last-minute and inconsiderate the entertainment industry is to the rest of your life. Most of all, I hate my attitude right now! As happy as I am to be here a little longer, I don't want to go through the tears and torment of saying goodbye again... Everything this morning has highlighted how badly I want a magic solution to a situation that doesn't have one!

I need to get some sleep...

Flying Feline?

As I've mentioned before, in addition to missing my boyfriend, family, friends, home in Ohio and the comfort and convenience of familiarity, I long for the unconditional love of my pets.

I worried my cat would be mad and snub me on this visit, since cats can be temperamental, but thankfully it's been quite the opposite, he's been on my lap every time I sit down and I wake with him curled at my feet most mornings. Of course, this has me once again thinking about taking him back to California. I probably won't because that would leave the ten year old Great Dane with no companionship, along with other factors I listed before, yet, here I sit at my kitchen counter at 3 a.m., "trapped" by the sleeping cat on my lap, looking up airplane regulations and cat travel tips.
I found this super cool video; check it out:



I was displeased to read that Spirit charges $85 for a pet-as-a-carry-on, that's a bit more than I expected. I was also surprised to find that vets no longer recommend using a sedative or tranquilizer on a pet during air travel because both the drugs and altitude affect blood pressure and could have deadly results. My cat tolerates car trips, usually hunkering on the drivers lap; he does not like being kept in his carrier and I fear he'd "mow" annoyingly for at least the first hour of the four and a half hour flight... (He does not meow, he "mows," as in, rhymes with cow.)

He really does seem to know who's controlling the vehicle and favor them, so perhaps if I asked nicely, the pilot would let him be a cockpit leg warmer!? Yeah right!

I don't know why I'm doing this to myself again... It's mean to the dog, the travel would be stressful on the cat, I would always be worried that he'd slip out the door under my roommates feet, I'd worry he'd choose to mark his new home, it would be very expensive with the airline fee, pet deposit, new liter box, etc... I can't speak from experience, but it seems like mothers and children - Despite the awful labor, they say when the new baby is laid in your arms it's all worth it... My cat is so damn cute/handsome, just to look at! Then he cuddles up to me with his soft fur, warmth and roaring purr and I just can't help but feel like he belongs with me, despite the logic and obstacles against it. I even feel like he wants to be with me!

Oh for the love! I am not the kind of person who speaks for animals! It must be the White Zin talking. I was at a beautiful wedding tonight and am very happy for my newlywed friends and their open bar. It really was one of the best weddings I've ever been to; more about that later, the cat has left my lap, thus freeing me to go spend valuable, fleeting moments wrapped in my beau's arms...

Honey, I’m Home!

Everyone likes surprises, right? Well, I decided it would be fun to tell as few people as possible that I was coming home for a visit! Not to metion the fact that I've been warned visits home are stressful because you're pulled in so many different directions; I figured I'd have more control if no one knew I was coming. Of course my boyfriend, who purchased my plane ticket knew, as well as the soon-to-be-wed friends whose wedding I’ll be attending. My parents, on the other hand, have been hearing white lies from me for the past two weeks… “Putting a new alternator in my car was the price of a plane ticket!” That’s true! “It’s hard to plan because my work schedule only gives me two days notice!” That’s true too! “No, I just can’t make it to so-and-so’s wedding… we haven’t kept in touch anyway.” Okay, that one’s a complete lie!

Honestly, it was difficult to pick days and buy the ticket; rather, it was stressful. Everything in LA happens at the last minute! My work schedule is issued on Friday and begins that Sunday! Audition notices are very last minutes; last week I was only given a few hours to get to one. You just have to select a date and assume you’re going to miss out on something. It’s Murphy’s Law.

We booked the flight for Monday July 21st to Tuesday July 29th. Of course, I ended up having NOTHING to do the 18th, 19th and 20th, but had to decline a direct request from a casting director to audition for a non-union film because it rehearsed and shot the 24th and 25th.

I sulked in my apartment all day Friday the 18th, frustrated that we hadn’t booked the flight for that day, and knowing I couldn’t extend the visit because I have things to get back for the 29th and 30th… In the hours of insomnia Saturday morning I decided just to check into changing the flight. My boyfriend had tried to extend his last visit, but the change fee was $600! In comparison, the $80 change fee Spirit airlines wanted seemed reasonable, then there was an additional $60 price difference. Can I afford to spend $140 on a whim? No. But did I have $140? Yes. (I don’t use a credit card, so I literally have money, or I don’t.)

I figure, $140 is a really fancy diner, or fantastic gift , and my boyfriend certainly deserves that! I thought, the ability to surprise him too would be priceless! When we originally bought the ticket I said I couldn’t wait for the day I had enough money to buy my own plane ticket and fly home without him knowing…

My engaged friend had already offered a ride home from the Detroit Metro, so taking him up on his previous offer was easy. The hard part became getting from my apartment to LAX. You are NEVER going to believe this story! Coming soon…

Actually I wrote this entry and the to-the-airport story while waiting for my departure and in the air, but I’m rationing my pre-written posts this week. ;)

Blogging from the iPhone store!

I'm in the process of getting an iPhone and blogging from the floor model.

Lots has been going on... I JUST got a callback for the PBS show with 24 hour notice, but I can't make it! :(
Hopefully they'll work with me and reschedule.

I'll explain why I can't make it soon...

A year ago today...

Wow, I just really freaked myself out...

I've been thinking lately that it's probably been about a year since I totaled my Honda and broke my collar bone, forcing me to postpone my move to LA. For whatever reason, a moment ago I decided to actually check; I flipped my phone open to it's calendar expecting to have to scroll through July of '07, but instead, on this very date one year ago was listed the event I was driving to when the accident happened.

I had emailed my boyfriend sort of whining that if I don't get called into work this morning that I don't have anything else I have to do on my calendar... but realizing the date, I will gladly stay safely sequestered in my apartment building!

A forced update

Does your internet use go through phases like mine? Sometimes I can’t account for the time I loose online and I gladly share all the minutia of my daily life; other times, just checking my email and usual internet haunts is like a chore.

Lately I just haven’t felt like writing, and like anything, the farther behind you get, the more daunting the task of catching up becomes. So here’s just a quick update until I get my groove back (which I have no doubt at all, will happen very soon…)

Last Thursday I was scheduled to audition for a comedic webisode series. Webisodes are really popular right now; you never know when they’re going to hit big, but if they pay, it’s nominal. Thank goodness I had a link to their previous work before I wasted my time auditioning. With the recent Jamie Pressley/ Poison Ivy 3 example in mind, I know you have to start somewhere, but this isn’t it. Check it out here. I can see why some might think these scenes are funny, but the previous female roles have been degrading. It's very one-sided, but what do you expect considering their weekly podcast is called the "Dude Zone?" I'm not judging what they do, but it's just not for me... Plus I'm sure they'd say my breasts were too small! I've previously declined two or three auditions, via email, after reading the script or learning more about the project. It always makes me crazy and I fear I'm turning down a great opportunity, but I ultimately have to go with my gut. In this case, all I had was a phone contact, which is kind of a problem for me...

No matter what you think of the project, it’s really important not to be a no-show. When I first moved here, an old college friend who’s lived here about 4 years and recently started his own production company advised me to fake my representation until I got an actual agent and manager. He said to either do it myself or have my boyfriend do it. He says many actors do that in order to get more respect and better deals. I fear it would have the opposite effect if casting were to realize your agent or manager were not legitimate, and thus haven’t had the balls or extra cell number to do it. In this case though, my combined phonephobia and inability to say no led to the founding of Glass City Management – that’s right, my boyfriend called them to say I had become unavailable.

The ironic part is that literally two minutes after my boyfriend made that call for me, my agent called me with an audition – the agent I don’t like, who had only sent me on one awful audition in three months. I reluctantly returned their call and skeptically listened to the details… “You speak Spanish, right?” “NO.”

An hour later I found myself in a crowded casting office with a Little Caesar’s cap on my head saying, “Cinco dólares por favor!” They had been auditioning all afternoon and I was #120, but that included the leads of the commercial, “stressed out mom” and “giggling kids,” in addition to the role I was auditioning for, “pizza girl.”

The waiting area was congested, especially since it was shared with another casting call that was nothing but kids and the check-in lady was understandably bitchy. I amused myself by observing a stage mom prep her ten year old son. He insisted he didn’t know Spanish. She insisted he could read for both Spanish and English (which I did as well). She muttered, “This isn’t what I expected… this is a cattle call!” He complained, “I should have brought my Game Boy.”

After thirty-five minutes of waiting, first to check in and then to go into the actual audition room, I spent a few minutes saying “Cinco dólares por favor!” twice and “That’ll be five dollars please” four times to a camera and two gentlemen. And that was that. I returned the Little Caesar’s cap to the bitchy lady and got the hell out of there, away from all the children and to the Starbucks down the block as fast as possible. I’m told, though, that in comparison to theatrical auditions in NYC, forty minutes is amazingly efficient.

I did my thing and left with no expectations, thus I was surprised to find out yesterday that I have a callback for the role this morning!

What the hell? This was supposed to be brief! Brevity is just not my writing style, which is why I haven’t felt like writing lately because I haven’t had the time or energy for it to turn into this!

Anyway… to QUICKLY conclude…

I never heard back from PBS, which sucks, but I’ve been plugging along and a few other positive things have come up.

Friday I had an audition for a short film. I’m sure I won’t get the part, but it was a cool experience.

Saturday evening I went out to dinner in Beverly Hills for character research and development with my acting class scene partner. The Beverly Hills experience was wonderful, but nothing like I expected. The meal was affordable and after the fancy stores close and tourist leave it’s a stunning and safe place for a pleasant evening stroll.

Monday I had my usual acting class, which is really a cold read workshop with different casting directors each week. The point is to get your picture and resume in their hands and show them what you’re all about. Lately it hasn’t seemed like I’m on the same page with the teacher of the class and having seen close to a dozen casting directors, nothing had happened yet… BUT, yesterday I got an email from Monday night’s guest requesting that I find her latest independent film project on Actors Access and submit for an audition! FINALLY!

Tuesday I auditioned to be a contestant on GSN’s Bingo America! Funny, I know! I decided it won’t hurt my acting career and could help my bank account, so why the hell not?! More about that later…

Also Tuesday I attended the first free acting class offered by Universal to its Tour Guides. I’m so excited because this is really an “acting class,” as opposed to a casting director workshop, meaning it teaches and works to develop a specific acting technique. Not all the guides are keen on the specific technique being taught, that of Stella Adler which is strongly influenced by Stanislavski’s “Method,” but I think there’s always something to be gained even if you don’t agree with the entire concept.

And with that not-so-brief update, I need to try to get some beauty sleep so later this morning I can be the best damn pizza girl ever to grace a cheesy (no pun intended) Little Caesar's commercial!

(Stop laughing, it’s a paying gig!)

"Free Money" for being a naive hottie!

Remember that “Most Talented Hottie” audition for Microsoft that I didn’t go through with?

After waiting an hour, I gladly left the audition with the valid excuse that I had to get to a performance of a musical I was in… or was it dress rehearsal? Either way, it was a horrible audition my horrible agent had sent me on; they didn’t want real talents, but rather degrading, stupid human tricks.

Having already filled out their paperwork and gotten my $20 for gas, I told them I’d return in the morning. Between the fact that traffic probably wouldn’t have allowed me to make it to that and work training the next morning, in addition to the realization I did NOT want to be a part of it, I did not go back the next day.

You may recall, the incentive was that you got $200 just for auditioning, but you waived all rights to the footage, which could then be used online for what sounds like it will be a really stupid and humiliating contest. I was naive to tell my agent I'd go to something like this, naive to sit there for an hour and naive about traffic the next morning; but it all worked out...

Even though I didn’t audition, I recently got a $200 check in the mail!!! I guess they didn’t cross reference their paperwork with their video footage. I don’t feel bad because that covers the cost of travel time and expense, wait time and emotional anguish! Not to mention that swindling could most definitely be considered a talent of a hottie!!! ;)

Fighting sleep like a baby...

It’s just after 7 a.m. in LA and I haven’t slept yet. I finally got under the covers to try to sleep about a half hour ago, but it isn’t working. Am I tired? Yes, but I just can’t shut off my mind.

I’ve always joked about being an insomniac, but I’m pretty sure this is real. I’d always stay up until 1 or 2, but since moving here that turned into 3 or 4 and over the past few days it’s been 5 or 6. I know I should “pull an all-nighter” to tire myself out so I can go to bed at a normal time the next night, but the trouble is getting through the hours of 6 to 9ish… That’s when nothing’s going on. You can’t run errands yet, but you’ve also exhausted your busy work around the house and online. Right now I don’t feel a second wind coming, but I also can’t sleep.

Has this had a negative effect on my overall success and productivity? Yes, of course. That in turn makes me feel like a huge loser which only contributes to the emotional disparity that is more than likely causing the insomnia. Oh my gawd - make it stop!

Here’s what I wrote to my boyfriend the other day, “I’m fighting sleep for no good reason, just like an infant! I do not want to be on a nocturnal schedule; I hate how it makes me feel and how little I accomplish because of it. I know I’ve always been this way to a degree, but it’s so much worse because I have no reason to go to bed – I don’t have you to cuddle up to or you to wake up beside. In addition to that, it’s almost like staying awake keeps the next day from coming, even though I know sleep will help me face whatever challenges I have the next day, I just don’t want them to come because I don’t want to face them alone…”

You may be wondering, “If you’re awake in the middle of the night, why haven’t you blogged here?” Well, as you may have gathered from the passage above, I can’t seem to get out of a rut I found myself in a couple weeks ago. When your emotions are on overload, it’s hard to make sense of any of them or anything and thus, I haven’t felt much like writing. I’ve still done everything I have to do, for the most part; I worked this week, had an acting class and went on auditions for a short film and a Little Caesars commercial.

I've been here before. I know it'll work itself out when I have a few days in a row with morning things I have to get up for... that just hasn't happened yet. Once again, my dream schedule is a nightmare. Dream, nightmare... if only I could go to sleep and have either one!

How Californians See America

This was forwarded to me by a friend... and I have to say, this is pretty much how I saw it even before moving to LA!

The bad breaks before the "big break"

Believe it or not, LA television is horrible! I don't have cable and the network affiliates out here choose to rerun the worst sitcoms and they play entertainment news shows all the time.

Of course, late night TV everywhere is bad; it's 3 a.m. and I'm watching the movie Poison Ivy 3 (1997).

It's about a destructive seductress, Violet, who returns to a wealthy daughter and father, for whom her mother used to be a maid. She literally works as a dominatrix and sleeps with her childhood friends boyfriend and father, while spinning a web of lies and deceit. Spoiler alert: three of four lead characters die. There's never full frontal nudity (at least not in this TV edit!), but a lot of very suggestive scenes, it's your typical bad movie that you just can't turn off!

As I watch it, I can't help but wonder, "whatever happened to her career!?" One of the hardest things about this industry is knowing what projects to do... What will be a huge success? What will ruin you? It seems to me, the slutty female lead probably went from this movie, to a phone sex commercial...

The boyfriend, on the other hand, is one of those hunks with an Abercrombie model face and perfect, silky hair. He intrigued me, surely with a look like that, he's gone on to do more, so I "imdb-ed him." That stands for Internet Movie Data Base and I don't know about the rest of the world, but among movie buffs and industry folks, that term is as common as "I googled it."

Anyway, I was right, he's Greg Vaughan, who plays "Lucky Spencer" on General Hospital, among other TV and film credits.

As for that crazy, slutty lead character, well, I retract my previous statements because she's the Emmy Award winning "Joy Turner" on My Name Is Earl... Jamie Pressly!

PJS for PBS

By that I mean PJs, as in pajamas, as in what I wore to an audition for PBS today!

Let me explain!...

This afternoon I had an audition to be the side-kick type character for a half hour pilot for a PBS kids show. (Just in case you aren't familiar, in TV talk, a "pilot" is the first episode created, which TV network executives may or may not "pick up" or order more of to air as a series. It's sometimes painful to watch the pilot episodes of your favorite shows because they're understandably rough around the edges and the characters aren't yet fully developed.)

Anyway, PBS kids show is not exactly the career I had in mind, but I figure if LeVar Burton can go from the PBS host of Reading Rainbow to Geordi La Forge on Star Trek: Next Generation, well, then who the hell knows!

Not to mention, you have to take what fits you. Here was the breakdown: "A young woman (age range 18 - 30). She is a “handy-woman” around the house, always fixing things, and helping our main character. She is strong and confident, but feminine, cute, and accessible to kids. She sings songs (singing ability a must) tells stories and leads dances. Must be okay with being silly. She is the strong leading personality that drives this show." Yep, that's me alright!

Albeit happy for me, my mom pointed out, "You don't dance." I replied, "It's not really dancing, it's a PBS kid show, they just sorta hop around, right?"

For todays audition we were asked to showcase our singing and dancing abilities and dress casual. Damn you, LA, and your casual attitudes and wardrobes! What does that mean? It's an audition, an interview; you should dress to impress or to suggest your character! Okay, fine, I told myself that means my character is casual, which makes sense given the breakdown. But I still couldn't bring myself to wear jeans, nor should I wear dress or my typical high heels. I realized a bigger problem was that PBS hosts and characters are all A-sexual, and all my shirts are either spaghetti straps or v-necks; my clothes aren't necessarily sexy, but they show too much skin for PBS.

I only have two T-shirts that I wear in public, so the only thing I could come up with today was to wear my favorite one with a pair of capris and cute sandals - one of my favorite, no effort outfits. The tee is pink, fitted, super soft, extra long and it says "I *heart* my dog" across the front of it. It's literally a red heart made of beads. Truth be told, it's a Victoria's Secret pajama top, but I don't care I wear it out all the time and people always comment and think it's cute. I don't know what breed its supposed to be, but the silhouette of the VS dog and this, and much of their sleepwear resembles a Great Dane, which I have... in Ohio. :(

The audition was in an acting studio space behind the Hollywood Playhouse Theatre Complex. There are lots of theatre spaces in Hollywood, so wasn't surprised to find this was a loudly painted building on an otherwise residential street, off of Sunset, a couple blocks from the tourist mayhem. A narrow path led behind the theatre and opened up to a tranquil courtyard; it was such a quiet, hidden jewel, I would have hung out there for hours, but as soon as I signed in, they were ready for me. I counted the sign in sheet, and was the sixteenth woman. Yikes.

I was told to bring a CD or sing a capella. Instead I took my four inch, highly portable MP3 speakers and iPod. While I set up, one of two men with Middle Eastern or perhaps European accents explained that it's a new show teaching kids to recycle. I believe the target age range is 4 to 6 and I think it's called "Eco," but between the accent and trying to pleasantly take everything in, I honestly don't remember.

They played an electronic accompaniment and sang through the three-line theme song with me twice, then I did it twice on my own for the camera. It was easy - a nauseatingly catchy tune that will have babysitters and parents ears bleeding... I improv-ed the start of the show, "Hi kids!!! Today we're going to have fun learning to reuse and recycle with a good friend, ECO!"

Then I did my prepared performance, a two minute version of "Much More" from the off-Broadway hit, The Fantastics. It's a perfect story telling song that shows off my voice; in it a young girl day dreams of all the exciting things she wants to do, instead of chores, "I'd like to swim in a clear blue stream where the water is icy cold, then go to town in a golden gown and have my fortune told..." It's not the Linda Eder song some of you might be thinking of. I added some appropriate twirls and a grape-vine or two, as that's the extent of my sober dancing.

I did the entire song. Then, they asked me to take my hair out of its low ponytail, so the camera could get that look, since it's down, straight and flowing in my headshot. I sang the entire song, again, with my hair falling in my face! The line "To wear my hair unfastened so it billows to the floor.." didn't make much sense anymore, but how amazing that I did like five minutes of singing for the camera!

They seemed to really like me, but who knows! Now I move on to the next thing... If they call me next week for a callback, great! If not, I know I did my best... and I'll blame it on the PJs.

My job is becoming work. :(

My position as a Tour Guide at Universal Studios is undeniable cool, but it's really stressing me out!

To follow up on my previous post, I consulted with my acting teacher (who, again, is also a casting director) about whether to go to work today or to a non-union no-pay short film audition. He said if I need the money, to go to work, especially considering the films casting director will be a guest in our class later this summer. Of course, the goal with all the casting directors we do cold reads for in class is that they'll call us into their offices to audition for paid work. So I declined the audition and will be tour guiding all afternoon.

I was so busy throughout my Tour Guide training that I never actually wrote about it or the job itself. Some of you may have taken the 'world famous Universal Studios Hollywood Tour' but for those of you (like me) who are clueless, here's the quick and dirty...

175 guests are loaded onto a four car tram and driven through the front and back lots of the actual, working studio. A guide, like me :), speaks to the guests via airplane-like TV monitors and plays video clips throughout the tour.

The front lot is kind of boring, consisting of sound stages and production bungalows. They're not much to look at, but there's the possibility of seeing a star, as the TV shows CSI and LIFE currently use several of our sound stages, movies are always coming and going and production bungalows are where writers, directors and producers meet to develop the next big hit!

The back lot consists of our outdoor, free standing sets. It's amazing how many different things have been filmed in the exact same places; current TV shows, films, commercials and photo shoots use the the same sets where legendary Hollywood icons got their start, and the tram rolls right through it.

Each area has a name - Denver Street are the oldest sets, used for the first silent Westerns; Sandra Bullock just used it for parts of her new film, All About Steve. Another section of Western sets are called Six Points Texas, which is connected to Old Mexico, where the recent Indiana Jones film shot scenes. What we call the Square of Warriors has grand facades used for Rome in Spartacus and Genovia in The Princess Diaries 2: A Royal Engagement, among other things. Little Europe is my favorite because it's just cool looking and has a laundry list of diverse projects that have shot there; you can currently see it on the big screen in Adam Sandler's You Don't Mess with the Zohan. Other examples are all three Pirates of the Caribbean films, All Quiet on the Western Front, The Good German, Cinderella, The Pink Panther, Michael Jackson's Moonwalker video, and TV shows including Heroes, Alias, Beverly Hills 90210... Those are just a few... Little Europe includes the Court of Miracles where monster movies of the 1930s and 40s came to life, including Frankenstien, Dracula and The Hunchback of Norte Dame. The recently charred metropolitan sets also have a unbelievably long filmography, which I am not taking the time to memorize until they're rebuilt! The tram doesn't go down Elm Street, but it includes a house currently seen in Will Smith's Hancock, as well as the To Kill a Mocking Bird house. What is currently Wisteria Lane with all the Desperate Housewives homes used to be called Colonial street and the same homes belonged to The Munsters, Ben Matlock, Freddie Kruger, the Hardy Boys and were seen in The Burbs, Animal House, Providence and Nelly's Delimma video, to name a few... The tram also goes by parts of Whoville from Ron Howard and Jim Carey's Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas, the Bates Motel and Psycho House from Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho and the realistic crash site from Stephen Spielberg and Tom Cruise's War of the Worlds (which features an actual, wrecked 747 jet).

That may sound like a lot, but to make the tour more entertaining it includes "animations." They're not like cartoons, but rather mechanical features. I can't stand when guests incorrectly call them "rides" because they're certainly not... it's kind of hard to explain... The most famous is probably the Jaws animation, in which the tram stops by an area we call Amity Island, although we later admit it was Cabot Cove from the filming of Murder She Wrote. Anyway, there's a small pond and a mechanical shark pops up. There's more to it than that, but I don't want to spoil it with too many details in case you ever plan to take the tour. We have an animation called "Earthquake," which of course, simulates an earthquake. The King Kong animation was pretty cool, but it's where the fire started and something new will be rebuilt in its place. They haven't announced what it will be yet, but good ole banana breath is not coming back. (A fake banana smell was actually pumped in as the giant mechanical ape roared and shook the tram!) There are a few other animations, but again, I feel bad giving too much away.

I know, I know, it's amazing that I get paid to tell people about all of that! It's a really fun job, but now let me tell you where the stress comes in... The tour usually runs about 45 minutes, but the actual route is always changing. Various areas might be shut down because something's filming there, or an animation might be closed for repairs. Of course there's a map in the dispatch office that shows you what the route is each day; you simply have to know multiple transitions to get you from area to area, depending on the various routes. The greater anxiety comes from never knowing when you're going to "stall." The animations take two or three minutes and you may have to sit and wait for the tram ahead of you to finish, or two trams ahead of you, or THREE! A tram ahead of you may have broken down. Your tram might break down and you have to keep the people entertained while it's either fixed or your guest are moved to another tram. The last time I worked I heard a horror story about a tram having to wait FIFTEEN minutes while the driver of a production truck was located to move it out of the way!

No matter where you are or why you're stopped, you have to just keep on talking and make your guest think that you are supposed to be saying whatever it is that you're saying. Thank goodness there are clips you can play to buy you time, but you have to be familiar with the clip list and know which to play where. The key is your ability to logically transition from topic to topic and clip to clip. I've not yet had to deal with a tremendously long stall, but I have come dangerously close to running out of information, then thankfully we started moving again!

I know it's just a matter of time before a stall horror story happens to me! I had to prove that I could think on my feet as part of the audition process, but when you're out there on the route, sometimes you just draw a blank. Not to mention the fact that I'm not actually a movie buff; I grew up without cable or a VCR in a family that didn't go to the movies! While I think the information is awesome, it does not come organically to me. During our training, they purposely stalled us a bit, but never more than a couple minutes. I know I should be prepared for stalls in every given area of the lot, but I don't feel like I am. As the summer season gets busier and busier, I am more and more nervous about going to work! It's almost like I want an incident to happen to me, so I can have it under my belt.

As a performer I know the only reason why I ever get nervous - it's always due to a lack of preparation. I've spent more time and energy worrying about this than actually studying my material. Like right now, why the hell am I blogging? I have a shift in nine hours, I should be sleeping or reading my three-inch-thick training manual!

So that's exactly what I'm going to do...