Tuesday, May 13, 2008

And the countdown starts over…

Yesterday my boyfriend bought a plane ticket to come back out in a month to see me in the short musical festival! :)

My roommate had warned me that the days after someone visits always suck. I don’t think it’s merely a self fulfilling prophecy; I have had good reasons to want to stay curled up in my bed…

Yesterday morning I was awaken out of a deep, groggy sleep by my cell’s ring tone “If you are what you say you are, a super star…”

I squinted to see the name on the screen. The director of my musical! I flung my body to the other side of my bed to read
10:09 on my clock. Fuck! Rehearsal had started at 10. My heart sank and I answered, “I’m sorry, I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

In college I used every excuse you can imagine for tardiness and to get out of things and I was amazed to find how infinitely worse it felt when the excuse was the truth! Maybe because I’ve been such an excuse-using-liar in the past, I desperately did not want anyone to think that was the case… Although, is it really that much better to be an irresponsible, non-morning-person, over sleeper?

I threw on the outfit I had worn Saturday night when my boyfriend and I had gone shopping and to dinner – the same outfit I had worn the next morning to take him to the airport and ended up keeping on all day… I tend to shower at night and sleep with my hair in a bun; my still wet, wonderfully smelling tresses made me think, “Will they assume I took the time to shower?!” After brushing my teeth and grabbing my music and bottle of water I was out the door ten minutes and at the theatre in another ten.

All the way there that burning feeling of fear, anxiety and embarrassment sat in that place between my stomach and chest. Due to traffic between San Diego and LA I had also been late to the first rehearsal on Thursday morning and had deemed myself unavailable and missed another rehearsal over the weekend. Again, the original information said the project would not begin until the 21st and no, this is not a paying gig! Thus, I had not worried about this weekend, but now… late again!… I drove there wondering, “Are they thinking they made a bad choice by casting me?”

I racked my brain and could think of only one other instance of legitimate over sleeping. I’ve been told that in the industry you’re never actually supposed to say “I’m sorry.” I guess it shows weakness and it certainly doesn’t change any situation. I struggled with how to let everyone know that I was aware of my irresponsibility without profusely apologizing all over myself! I’m pretty sure the embarrassment was evident, as the director and composer both gave me hugs. I found the opportunity to say, “You’re all now among a very short list of people to see me without makeup in public!” A fellow actress laughed, “I used to be like that, but then I had a kid!”

This was the first time I’d be meeting the actor playing my character’s boyfriend. I am ashamed to admit I derive a lot of confidence from how I look and I thought to myself, “Holy shit, I’m really going to have to act to find confidence in myself to create chemistry with this guy!” It didn’t matter anyway… I’m 99% sure he’s gay! Ha!


So it was fine… I felt like shit but it was fine and if it had to happen, I’m just glad it was for a nonpaying gig. The line of the day was after rehearsal to my boyfriend, “Guess who’s wearing the same clothes for a third day in a row and was late to rehearsal…?”

Feeling like a total loser, I went back to my apartment to try to deal with AT&T who, I sincerely believe, takes great pleasure in making phone and internet installation as difficult as humanly possible!

For a second day in a row the desk I not only want, but desperately need, was not delivered… Over a week ago at an incredibly shitty furniture store in NoHo I found a gem! When I went a second time to buy it, a second salesperson wouldn’t sell it to me for the price I was originally quoted; the first guy told me to call first and come back when "the angry Asian man,” as I call him, wasn’t there. I had hoped I could get it Saturday when my boyfriend could help me attempt to transport it in two trips in my trunk, but the angry Asian was working. The first guy offered to drop it off curb side to me Sunday, but then forgot to drive his truck to work! Yesterday he didn't call me like he said he would, so I called the store only to hear the angry Asian man say he wasn't there. I am so sick of being unorganized with all my stuff on the floor! I’m about to just pay what the angry Asian man wants, it would still be a pretty good deal… Or is that their plan – to frustrate me into a higher price?

Finally, I can not for the life of me find a salon to fill and hand file my acrylic nails. “Hand file” being the key word because those horrible little machines are unsanitary, painful and sound like the dentist!

Now I need to go attempt to make my nails look half way decent on my own and get ready for my final Universal Studios tour guide interview!

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