Today I was paid audience for three episodes of a new talk show, The Doctors. I have no doubt you will see me in two of the three, as I was in the front row, next to various guest that spoke from their audience seats. At the end we taped a commercial for actual viewers to get tickets; for that the hosts sat in the audience and I was right next to the hot lead doctor. After a long day of freezing to death on the Dr Phil adjacent set, I fear my appearance won’t be up to my standards; nonetheless people in this section were hand picked, much like America’s Got Talent yesterday.
As for the show, my prognosis is fatal. It needs to personality and statistics STAT. The segments were really drug-out and the hosts were well-spoken but repetitive in their verbiage and boring at times. The biggest flaw I found was the lack of information; it seemed like they didn’t answer the questions because so often all they could say is “it depends on the patient” or “consult your own doctor.” The show starts out with a very The View-like vibe, as the four doctors chat about a hot medical topic; I was especially frustrated with the lack of facts or statistics used in their discussion during this segment.
The highlight for me was when actor John C. McGinly was a guest to talk about having a son with Downs Syndrome; he plays Dr. Perry Cox on Scrubs, one of my favorite shows! Today was definitely the most excited I’ve been over the handful of celebrities I’ve seen since moving to LA!
Despite that ten minute positive star stuck-ness, my head is still spinning, as I mentioned yesterday.
Last night I simply could not get to bed and once I did lay down I could not silence my mind. I may have gotten an hour or two of sleep before having to get up again. When I got home from the show taping this afternoon I just vegged out, napping for a few hours. On this exciting Friday night in LA I’m going back to bed before midnight…
Over the years I’ve come to know my emotions and body and I can recognize when a gloomy fog is settling in around my head and heart. Instead of dealing with an issue and setting it free, all of a sudden everything is a point of stress swirling around me and I can’t seem to take care of things or make a decision. I can’t turn my mind off, focus or find the positive side. Unlike some women, the fact that it’s nearly that time of the month is not the cause, rather horrible timing that certainly won’t help.
I’ve been here for five months and now that I’ve sort of figured out how things work, I feel I have some tough decisions to make. Do I focus on getting a good manager and agent and trust I’ll get acting work or do I find a great day job, save up money and focus on taking classes? One thing I can’t figure out is how people balance their acting career and day jobs; scheduling in this town is a nightmare and it’s so hard to gage which auditions are worth calling off your day job to go to. After two or three sick calls, most jobs fire you, so I just don’t know how people do it.
Of course I’m stressed about the process and expense of getting new headshots. Do I get them sooner in order to find a manager and better agent or do I wait to get those reps, then go to a photographer they recommend? Is my current shot horrible to the point I should stop submitting it and making a fool of myself and again, just focus on classes for a while? (Seriously, you should have seen the faced of the two industry pros who hated it.)
Then there’s the matter of holiday travel, trying to meet with two different scene partners, one of which is an extremely challenging and stressful scene that had me in tear after our last class (not character tears, my tears of frustration and self-contentiousness, as it's a scene requiring sexuality and movement that I'm surprised I can't seem to pull off) and believe it or not, body image issues. Oh, and I’m trying to find the best way to handle massive amounts of ridiculous drama on another non-anonymous publication I author. Not to mention general loneliness, wanting to get our house in Ohio sell, but not knowing how exactly things will play out if that happens before my lease it up in this crappy apartment...
Tomorrow morning I’m meeting with my acting teacher, who can hopefully help answer many of these questions, but I’m even stressed about that meeting. It doesn’t seem smart to show weakness to anyone in this industry. He is also a casting director and his wife is a manager who represents a good amount of people who are or were in the class; I don’t want either of them equating my shitty week to a lack of strength, ability or commitment within this very tough industry. As I mentioned in a reply to a comment below, he makes you feel extremely guilty when you miss any opportunity. I know he’s going to tell me to limit my holiday visit home; I’d rather he not know where or why I’m disappearing for a month, but he’s the only person in the industry I have to go to for this kind of advise. He is extremely helpful and in offering meetings like this to all his students, he goes above and beyond what most teachers do. So hopefully it goes well in the morning, I feel like I can’t leave his place feeling any more confused or stressed than I already am, but who knows…
As for the show, my prognosis is fatal. It needs to personality and statistics STAT. The segments were really drug-out and the hosts were well-spoken but repetitive in their verbiage and boring at times. The biggest flaw I found was the lack of information; it seemed like they didn’t answer the questions because so often all they could say is “it depends on the patient” or “consult your own doctor.” The show starts out with a very The View-like vibe, as the four doctors chat about a hot medical topic; I was especially frustrated with the lack of facts or statistics used in their discussion during this segment.
The highlight for me was when actor John C. McGinly was a guest to talk about having a son with Downs Syndrome; he plays Dr. Perry Cox on Scrubs, one of my favorite shows! Today was definitely the most excited I’ve been over the handful of celebrities I’ve seen since moving to LA!
Despite that ten minute positive star stuck-ness, my head is still spinning, as I mentioned yesterday.
Last night I simply could not get to bed and once I did lay down I could not silence my mind. I may have gotten an hour or two of sleep before having to get up again. When I got home from the show taping this afternoon I just vegged out, napping for a few hours. On this exciting Friday night in LA I’m going back to bed before midnight…
Over the years I’ve come to know my emotions and body and I can recognize when a gloomy fog is settling in around my head and heart. Instead of dealing with an issue and setting it free, all of a sudden everything is a point of stress swirling around me and I can’t seem to take care of things or make a decision. I can’t turn my mind off, focus or find the positive side. Unlike some women, the fact that it’s nearly that time of the month is not the cause, rather horrible timing that certainly won’t help.
I’ve been here for five months and now that I’ve sort of figured out how things work, I feel I have some tough decisions to make. Do I focus on getting a good manager and agent and trust I’ll get acting work or do I find a great day job, save up money and focus on taking classes? One thing I can’t figure out is how people balance their acting career and day jobs; scheduling in this town is a nightmare and it’s so hard to gage which auditions are worth calling off your day job to go to. After two or three sick calls, most jobs fire you, so I just don’t know how people do it.
Of course I’m stressed about the process and expense of getting new headshots. Do I get them sooner in order to find a manager and better agent or do I wait to get those reps, then go to a photographer they recommend? Is my current shot horrible to the point I should stop submitting it and making a fool of myself and again, just focus on classes for a while? (Seriously, you should have seen the faced of the two industry pros who hated it.)
Then there’s the matter of holiday travel, trying to meet with two different scene partners, one of which is an extremely challenging and stressful scene that had me in tear after our last class (not character tears, my tears of frustration and self-contentiousness, as it's a scene requiring sexuality and movement that I'm surprised I can't seem to pull off) and believe it or not, body image issues. Oh, and I’m trying to find the best way to handle massive amounts of ridiculous drama on another non-anonymous publication I author. Not to mention general loneliness, wanting to get our house in Ohio sell, but not knowing how exactly things will play out if that happens before my lease it up in this crappy apartment...
Tomorrow morning I’m meeting with my acting teacher, who can hopefully help answer many of these questions, but I’m even stressed about that meeting. It doesn’t seem smart to show weakness to anyone in this industry. He is also a casting director and his wife is a manager who represents a good amount of people who are or were in the class; I don’t want either of them equating my shitty week to a lack of strength, ability or commitment within this very tough industry. As I mentioned in a reply to a comment below, he makes you feel extremely guilty when you miss any opportunity. I know he’s going to tell me to limit my holiday visit home; I’d rather he not know where or why I’m disappearing for a month, but he’s the only person in the industry I have to go to for this kind of advise. He is extremely helpful and in offering meetings like this to all his students, he goes above and beyond what most teachers do. So hopefully it goes well in the morning, I feel like I can’t leave his place feeling any more confused or stressed than I already am, but who knows…
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