"Most people recognize my ass from looking up at it during strip club scenes."

This morning I did background work on Showtime's Californication. I was a patron in a restaurant scene with actors Evan Handler and Pamela Adlon. For those of you asking, "who?," I know Even best as Charlotte's second husband Harry in Sex and the City. Or, he's the actor who looks like Howie Mandell. We only worked for four hours, but will be paid for 8! It was a small call, only about 25 extras; most of them were extremely low key, so I sat with the first woman who exhibited signs of a pulse. Big mistake. I ended up learning more than I ever wanted to know about the world of being a stripper extra!

I said, "You look really familiar to me, I think you remind me of someone I know, but I can't put my finger on who." She said, "Oh, we were probably extras together, most people recognize my ass from looking up at it during strip club scenes." And away she went... "My friend is really flat, but stuffs and gets tons of work, but one time they made up go topless and then she got fired... So then on my next interview I didn't stuff, just in case, and I was the only one who didn't get called back, and it ended up not being topless. I should have stuffed... And then on Showtime shows they made you were a lot of pasties..." And on, and on, and on...

Anyway, the set was gorgeous. Evan smiled at me and depending which shot they use, I might be a blur over his left shoulder! lol!

Now I'm headed to an open call at Central Casting for an upcoming vampire movie. Although my instinct is that all vampire movies for the next few years will just be bad Twilight knockoffs, it would be nice to be booked on a film that would give me steady work. And by steady I mean maybe a week of knowing you're on the same project each day. That would be awesome! They want pale, skinny, stringy haired, sickly, unhappy people. Perfect! I'm wearing a black corset and jeans with dark lips, dark eye make up and I plan to take some baby oil to my hair.

While I'm in the area, I was going to register with the highly recommended calling service across the street. However, I'm not sure this is the look I want them to photograph and their website isn't loading.

And then, Universals free six week acting class starts tonight. I'll need to practice a scene they emailed us and wash the stringy, sad, vampireness out of my hair!

I*N*S*O*M*N*I*A

I have not been sleeping at night; it's ridiculous!

It's now 5:20 a.m. and I haven't gone to bed. It's been like this for a few days now. Yesterday was really bad; I was awake until 9 a.m. and then slept until 5 or 6 in the afternoon, completely missing any possible Independence Day celebrations.

It's easy to blame this on the all night Iron Man shoots, but I don't really think that's it. It certainly didn't helped, but moreover there's some sort of bored energy that pushes the normal 2 a.m. bedtime into 4 a.m., 5 a.m., or later... I think I'm so bummed that I'm alone each night with nothing to do, that for some stupid reason going to sleep makes it seem even worse. Does that make any sense at all? The annoying thing is that I can't really account for the lost time. It doesn't feel like hours pass by, rather, all of a sudden it's tomorrow! The main way I've spent the phantom time is building a website of sorts.

It's actually a blog because that's what I'm familiar with, but I'm attempting to pass it off as my official actor website by removing as many blog attributes as possible Along with it though, I've set up another actor blog and will begin "tweeting" actor things, even though I think Twitter is really lame. I even broke down and purchased my domain name for $10. It hasn't gone live yet, but this faux website will be at myname.com, hopefully in a day or two. I thought it would happen immediately, but apparently internet magic takes one to three days.

Basically, the website and actor blog will make everything look and sound wonderful, but I'll still share the real story here! Not only is it just smart for me to own my domain name, I'm going to use this to hold myself accountable. It'll probably just increase my stress level, but hopefully I can make that work for me. Public opinion has been a part of my life for several years now as a pageant contestant and then a TV spokesperson; although I wish I didn't, the fact is that I do care what people think. Honestly, we all do!

When I was in high school and college I was always really busy and always competing and winning things. No longer receiving tangible awards that are tall or sparkly or written about in a newspaper feels odd!!! As most of you know, the pageant circuit is a place where you need to be constantly active and accomplished. Since moving on to this new phase of my life, there have been periods of time when I couldn't answer the questions "what are you doing now days? What are you up to? What's new?" At least I didn't have an answer that sounded good enough to me or impressive enough to suit my former active college/pageant contestant self.

I figure with the public actor website, blog and twitter, I'll be motivated by a fear of public scrutiny! That doesn't sound healthy does it...? Let's put it this way, if I spin everything into a positive light for those sites, maybe I'll start to believe my own bullshit instead of being such a downer all the time! We'll see... If nothing else, I now own myname.com, even though google is holding it hostage out there somewhere in the depths of cyberspace.

I AM SO PISSED!

Tonight I filled in for a friend in a role in the Mini Musical Festival; it did not go well. As I've mentioned before, it's just a 10 to 15 minute show and not difficult or a very big deal, but any performance requires a certain amount of preparation and resources that I was not given. As a result, tonight was embarrassing!

This show has 8 characters, which is a lot for such a short piece. The character I'm filling in for this weekend is one of three chorus women who are almost always onstage, either as factory workers or roadies with a band. A huge frustration is that we didn't receive actual music. I read music! I need to read music. Three of the male lead's songs were written and then the chorus had to write in where we sometimes echo or "ooooo" along with him and basically pick a note to harmonize. It's easy music so that part actually isn't the issue.

What sucks is that the show opens with the three of us onstage and over the canned accompaniment we sing a few lines, then speak a few, and so on. The first two lines of the show are sung, by my character.

Let me back up a bit... Last week I went to a rehearsal; the friend I'm filling in for couldn't be there until the end, so I assumed they'd go over music with me. Well, since there isn't sheet music that didn't happen, I just sort of watched and tried to figure out where my character fit in. I got up and learned a bit of the blocking, but it wasn't a very structured rehearsal and they were also breaking in a new male lead who was taking over the end of the run. When my friend arrived I watched her do a couple scenes, then watched the entire festival last Sunday afternoon.

Last night I went to my friend's place to go over more of the blocking, the dance moves and the music. However, she had never actually practiced with the accompaniment CD she'd been given. When she popped it in she realized that since it was given to her, they'd changed the keys of all the songs! So, I had no sheet music and incorrect canned music...

After Sunday's show the composer said he'd email me about a rehearsal. He had not. Thursday night I emailed him and he said they'd "try to get everyone together at 6:30 to run through it" before the festival began at 8 p.m. Well, that didn't happen tonight. My cast mates rolled in between 7 and 7:15, and no one was concerned. I wasn't tremendously concerned myself, but rather a bit annoyed.

Really? The person with the first fucking line is going to go on in front of a sold-out house without so much as a run through?

We talked through things, but I kept reminding people, even though I've seen the show and I understand what you're telling me, that's very different than actually, physically doing it on stage! We finally walked through a few scenes in the parking lot, no props, no music.

Okay, so those who know me well know that I love to sing; I'm a well trained singer, but HATE kareoke. Does that sound odd? I can't stand canned music and I can't always find my pitch from that weird computer generated noise they call accompaniment. Well, that's how tonight was. I counted and came in at the right moment, but my pitch was off. Gee I wonder why... because I hadn't heard the actual song in the correct key since Sunday, when I was an audience member, perhaps? I was quickly able to get the the right melody, but my next line was a measure early and then a cast mate covered my next spoken line, since I was obviously all fucked up!

It's just embarrassing because I'm so much better than that. I should have known better than to think it would just fall into place. That doesn't happen; art is a difficult discipline. Performing is so much harder than people think. I'm amazing and I love it, but the easier a performer makes it seem, the more time they've probably put into it!

Apparently, the woman I'm replacing was the glue of the cast, as later in the show everyone forgot to sing the first two lines of a group number. The director mentioned another place where something similar happened, but I don't remember where... Not all the props were correctly preset, the scene changes were sloppy, it was simply a disaster!

You probably can't tell by everything I've just written, but I do really like everyone in the show and the festival. The composer is amazingly sweet, the director is really cool, the cast is fun, but... There's just no excuse for a TEN minute show to be such a train wreck.

I am embarrassed and I want to take responsibility for my part, but I don't feel like I have the resources to do that! I mean, without sheet music or the correct key on the cd, what am I supposed to do? Tomorrow I will insist that we do the first number, with the music, on the stage before the house opens. Past that, the six people who have actually been doing the show for three weekends now really need to get their shit together!

And by "Callback" they meant...

That they'd take your "before" photos, make you sign some forms and give you your free products!

So, yes, I am in the Neutrogena SkinID trial. I am happy, but still a bit frustrated with their misuse of the term callback. You see, to an actor that insights a certain level of mental energy; I spent a lot of time thinking about what I'd say at my callback and how to sell myself as an ideal candidate. I dressed to impress, I curled my hair, etc... I shouldn't be complaining, but they shoudln't have called it a callback!

For the first time ever, I don't want this blemish gone in the morning!

To my surprise, I did get a call back for the Neutrogena SkinID trial for this afternoon. (Read the previous post first if this is new to you.) So I am actually hoping that my current blemishes don't clear up! It was odd yesterday morning, as I looked at myself in the mirror wondering, "is it bad enough?"

Is it bad enough? Of course it is! As I told the camera yesterday, I can't believe I've been dealing with this problem since I was in junior high; I'm a little bit of a control freak and my skin has never been something I could control. It saddened me to realize, what seems good by my usual standards for my face, and hopefully not too good for the purposes of this trial, should not be acceptable for anyone!

I told them yesterday, "I saw a skincare ad that was 'finally' for the woman who is too young for wrinkles but too old for acne, but I don't know who that is! I don't feel one bit sorry for her! I'm at an age that I need a product to combat both and I haven't found that yet; I'm an ignored demographic." I have no idea what SkinID targets, but that's honestly how I feel. I'm sure there is an appropriate product out there, but I don't have the money or time to try new things. Once you find a decent routine, you're hesitant to disturb the somewhat good thing that you have going, but a free trial... Fantastic!

As soon as I left yesterday I was thinking of all the things I should have said, so hopefully I'll get the opportunity to say them at the callback today.

This one's for you, babe...

Today my guy noted that I hadn't been blogging much. "I blogged from set," I replied. But he's right, I've not done anything extensive. It's been a... rough? interesting? trying? couple weeks. In my mind various things have been floating around and as a result, I haven't taken the time or found the focus to tackle any of them.

As Murphy's Law would have it, in this moment I'd like to sit here on my balcony with my cup of coffee and type up a storm, but I have to go... Recall the musical that was on, then off, then on, then off again? I felt guilty when I declined another small role in a different musical, but alas, I will be part of that damn festival after all! A friend and cast mate from one of last years shows got roped into it again this year, but she can't do the last three performances. Tonight, or right now rather, I'm going to her place to go over the music and dance moves to perform her part TOMORROW, Friday and Sunday! I've gone to one rehearsal and watched the show Sunday, but that's it. Granted, it's just a chorus role in a campy ten minute show, her character does sing the first line and there are synchronized dance steps, so I'm a little frustrated that I've not heard from the director about a run through tomorrow afternoon. Of course, I'm regretting saying yes! But, after I get tomorrow night out of the way, I'm sure Friday and Sunday will be fun; unless something better comes along that I can't do because of the show, then I'll just be pissed.

This afternoon I went to Hollywood for an audition for a trial of Nuetrogina's SkinID. If selected I'd get free products for six weeks. A year ago I contemplated a similar trial but my acting teacher discouraged me since those things are not normally paid. This time I said fuck it! I need the freebies! When I got there today I ran into a coworker from Universal who said she'd heard you do indeed get a couple hundred dollars if they use your testimonial. That would be awesome. In the audition room however, I don't think I did so well. I have always had troubled skin and in answering their "how has acne affected your life?" questions I was genuine, but I fear it didn't come off that way. Between seeing a zillion skin care product commercials and knowing what is said on them, and being a trained speaker and tour guide, I worry I wasn't "real" enough, even though I was, I wasn't. Does that make any sense? I guess we'll see!

As for my sales job, I never went back! More on that later...

I am looking at a stunning pink and blue sunset, stretching out above the biggest green screen I've ever seen! We're in the Valley, filming more expo scenes for Iron Man 2. This time the background actor holding area is just a large tent... It's going to SUCK later!

As many of you are waking in Ohio, I have yet to go to sleep in LA. Tonight's Iron Man shoot is much more involved. I actually think I'll have sore muscles because of all the running. We have done 10 to 15 takes running down a flight of 50 steps. Yes, I counted. Let me remind you, the average staircase in ones house is 10 to 15 steps! They've told us we'll be going out at least one more time, which means overtime pay! I've also been recalled for Monday, and possibly Tuesday, at a different location that is much closer to my apartment.

Photos from last night

These are not as exciting as you thought they would be...

Part of the lovely holding area; I was incredibly impressed by how thoroughly the gymnasium floor was covered.


Here we are walking down the stairs to the courtyard; note the graphics I mentioned previously projected up on the wall.


This huge green screen was a story above the courtyard where we filmed our running scenes; in the photo above, I had just walked around it and it was then on my left.


Production trailers; none of the actors were there, meaning none of the fancy trailers and cool cars. Last night we did filmed a few more running takes at about 4:00 a.m. and were then release at 5, but will be paid until 6 a.m., minus a half hour break! So, yes, I'll get a little bit of overtime, having only been onset for like 45 minutes!

I'm headed back right now for another 6:30 p.m. call time.

At about midnight we finally went to the set, if you can call it that. The courtyard area of this high school campus is huge, modern and very industrial. They only had a few "expo" signs and graphics projected on a large wall. All we did was four takes, running and screaming as drones attack. This scene will end up including tons of CGI , crazy editing and special effects.

After chatting with some other actors, they set out another meal for us. It's like wedding reception food, but about ten times better.

Others who've worked the previous two nights don't think we'll be here as long, since none of the characters are here shooting their scenes. I hope they're wrong; I'll gladly stay till the sun comes up in order to get overtime pay!

Well, five hours later, I've still done nothing! I can't complain and I was totally wrong about craft services, there has been a constant spread.

We're in a 98% finished wing of this high school, so it's perfect for this purpose. Although, someone was speculating this was the school that cost millions but hasn't been opened due to toxins or something. Yikes!

Hello from the auditorium of LA High School. I've been here for nearly an hour and a half and done nothing but consume a burger and fries! I have no idea when they'll be taking us to the set, but I have heard that shooting has been going till 6 a.m.

Headed to Iron Man 2!

I am headed off to my first gig through Central Casting - extra work on Iron Man 2! It's going to be huge, I'm guessing like 500 extras; we're supposed to be attendees at a techie expo in New York City. We had to agree to "lots of running," so I assume it's a scene where all hell breaks loose.

My biggest concern is hunger. I'm eating now, but this is my first meal of the day; I have to be there at 6:30 and it'll last 8 to 12 hours. I highly doubt they'll have craft services (food on set) for such a large scene with so many extras. I'm taking a snack, but with that, a second outfit just in case and planning whether to carry a purse or keep the few essentials on me, I feel like like I'm packing for a trip! $8 an hour shouldn't take such mental energy! I guess I'm just a little nervous; it's not that my "performance" will actually be seen by anyone or that I'll even make the credits, but rather that it's my first time on a big, working production, and first job with Central. I don't want to fuck up in any way...

I'm sure I'll have lots of fun updates, stories and maybe even a picture later.

Who are you?

I find myself curious about my readership. Please vote in the poll in the sidebar. Thanks.

Random!

In my last post I likened the lanes of LA traffic to a snail and a turtle; but then I wondered, was that right? Are turtles slightly faster than snails, or is it the other way around?

Well, thank you LOL blog for letting me know I was correct:

"Wait, what?"

That is what I keep saying to myself. "I'm sorry, what? You'll have to explain this again because it can't be right..."

What am I talking about? My life! My current existence. This situation I find myself in. My guy was here for seven days, which is his longest trip yet; he usually distributes his days off in shorter segments. We had an absolutely wonderful time. We visited three different beaches, we hiked three different canyons, we went to two films, spent a day at Universal, had a picnic at the park... We're just good together! It's instant; I totally forgot it was even his first day here until he noted it was 2 a.m., his time. I could go on and on with the sappiness, the point is that my life is full and complete when my true love is here to share it with. Being reminded of that for not just three or four, but seven days, made his departure the hardest yet. At the airport he had to put me back in my car and walk away.

My life is so hollow without someone to share things with. I do nothing. NOTHING! Sure, I have a few friends out here and one of my roommates is awesome, but everything with everybody is "we should do...," "we should meet...," "I'll let you know..." And that's as much my fault as theirs, probably more so. When that one special person is present in your life, you actually go and you do and you, I don't... LIVE!

In that week I became so used to not being alone anymore, I am now completely lost. Last night I wrote to my guy, "I feel honestly confused and paralyzed at the idea that you're not here anymore, that we're not going to wake up and go hiking tomorrow, that I will spend my day at the most unfulfilling job I've ever had only to come back to this apartment and have absolutely nothing of major importance to do... I mean, that can't be right, can it? How is it that we have the one thing most people can never find, and yet, we can't fully enjoy it? I just feel like I can't, can't, CAN'T keep living like this, without you."

So needless to say I was none to happy about going back to my daily grind yesterday. I started off a bit behind schedule, but then it was shot to hell when the apartment manager stopped by. It was an issue I had to talk to her about. Obviously it's my fault that a few minutes would push me into serious lateness; what wasn't my fault was not being able to find the lid to the container I wanted to take coffee in. I hate my kitchen and my roommates lack of cleanliness and organization. So frustration was added to my apathy.

Once in my car, the very first bump I hit on my side street knocked my rear view mirror off my window. My guy had forgotten it was broken and had tried to adjust it early in the week, thus disturbing the way it had been rigged up there for over a year. It was dangling by a 4 inch wire, swirling around and bouncing against the window.

I merged onto the highway to find a bumper-to-bumper traffic moving at a snails pace. Yes, I'm in LA, which is known for traffic, but for the place and time, this was abnormal. Without the mirror I couldn't possibly get across four lanes of traffic to the "fast lanes" in which I could have upgraded to turtles pace.

Tears. Instant, pathetic, stupid tears start rolling down my face. None of it was worth the hassle. When you're alone in the world again it's even harder to power through the things that you hate...

Last Tuesday, when I last worked, they made a huge deal about tardiness, saying if you were late you'd get the worst agent number (meaning really old leads) and they won't do any take-overs for you. I don't know if they're actually enforcing that or if it was a one day threat, but it deterred me from trying to get there at all. By my standards, my mascara streaked cheeks and red nose could not be seen in public, so I got off the highway at the next exit and drove back to my apartment. I know I'm going to be on probation; I'll absolutely have to get five deals in a week to keep that job, but I don't want that job.

I thought after a week off I could go back refreshed, but instead it made me dread it more than ever. When you're in a routine, it's just what you do, but once you step away from it, you can see how truly horrible it is! Why the hell are we enduring such loneliness during our long weeks apart and debilitating angst with every goodbye, when I'm not even doing what I'm here to do? I mean, I'm selling fucking auto warranties from 1 to 7 p.m., which renders me nearly incapable of auditions and classes. The job boasts of flexibility, but that's only for the "hitters," as they call them. If you don't sell enough, you can't constantly get time off for this and that. This is a job that I honestly don't want to be good at, even though it's a decent company and product, I can't stand the tactics. Most of the people who are successful, are absolute douchebags who work longer hours; they think they're god's gift to warranty sales, as if that's an impressive life accomplishment.

I know my goal was to get a day job and save some money, but after a month and a half of doing just that, I find myself freaking out. What am I doing? What the hell am I doing? I haven't gone on a real audition in a month! I'm no closer to having a good agent than I was six months ago and our house in Ohio has been on the market for a year now. Why? Certainly not so I could spend all my time selling shitty auto warranties over the phone. If I wanted to waste my life in an unfulfilling job, I could have stayed in Ohio and avoided the heartache.

As for that horrible job I blew off yesterday, I think I could probably waltz in today without consequence. If by chance someone actually notices and mentions that I was supposed have been there yesterday, I think I could play dumb. Oops. Did I write down the wrong date? My guy says he would fire one of his sales people for something like that. I don't care. I know my number is about up anyway. The funny part is that I was more motivated to outlast the people I trained with than by my earning potential. Now that I am the last of my class left on my shift, what have I to strive for? Um, actually keeping my job and making tons of money? Well, yes, there's that, but this is not a company at which I'll flourish, and I'm okay with that. I really like that I'm stimulated by something other than money. Being the last one to endure was so much more fulfilling than successfully selling a markup to a customer who is fighting tooth and nail not to buy...

Some friends were really supportive, saying I deserved a "mental health day!" I don't know that it helped though. I did nothing yesterday and feel more lost than ever. It's like I just woke up from a coma or something; I'm really trying to understand what's going on around me and it just doens't make sense.

The mini musical that could, then it couldn't, then it could again, and now it can't...

As I mentioned before, after the run of the ten minute musical festival last year I found myself a bit frustrated with the lack of professionalism and caliber of performance, both from myself and those I worked with. If you'd have asked me then, I would have said I'd absolutely not do that festival again.

Fast forward one year and I was elated to have the director of the theatre help me move into my new apartment and eager to get back on stage, any stage, once again! This years festival opens the 19th of this month; I was given a dominant role in one of the shows about a month ago. Three weeks ago I auditioned for a director, who then quit before even holding a rehearsal and so the show was off. At that point I was bummed... Then it was on again! A week and a half or two weeks ago, I actually saw the script for the first time at our read-through. Two of the six roles still needed to be filled, so I took my roommate along to audition for it.

Though perfect for the role, my roommate couldn't fit it into his work schedule. At our second real rehearsal, this past Tuesday, another man auditioned and was instantly given the role, and the sixth small part was still open, as was the end of the show... The writer was still finishing things and we'd not actually gotten sheet music of the songs!

Wednesday they met for a music rehearsal, which I did not attend because my guy got into town that day and it was our anniversary. Then last night, as I peeled myself off of the couch, where he and I were watching movies, to go to a 9 p.m. rehearsal, I discovered two voicemails from the director. Three cast members had quit within 20 minutes of one another! One due to work and the other two were family and had to travel out of the country for a funeral! Now it is officially cut from the festival.

This time, I am relieved. My assumption is that the music rehearsal I'd missed the night before was probably a huge disaster! I knew what I was getting into, but I could see the look of "WTF?!" that I had had last year on the faces of my cast mates on Tuesday night.

At my last rehearsal our director, who again is a co-owner/director of the theatre, received a call from the director of another musical in the festival still looking to fill a small part. No surprise, in his voicemail to me with the "bad news" that my musical was cut, the director had "good news" that I could fill a role in another show. I am horrible at saying no to people and though I feel really guilty, I am proud of myself that in this case I did it! This musical festival opens in six days! The role was described as "lots of singing and dancing" and I do not dance! There's no way I was going to devote several hours of rehearsal to a tiny part in a thrown-together ten minute musical, while my guy's in town! Not to mention, I hadn't told work that I'd need to leave early on Thursdays and Fridays for the next four weeks to get to the performances! I hate to be a diva, but having one or two lines in a ten to fifteen minute show is simply not worth it...

I do feel very badly about it. I mean, when he helped me move, the thanks I was to give him was by being in the musical festival. I remember thinking (and probably writing) that it was a total win-win for me!

*sigh*

I don't think I've burnt a bridge, but I've definitely let someone down, which is often worse...

This is why I don't like being early...

"To be early is to be on time; to be on time is to be late and to be late is unacceptable."

There are people in this world who live by that motto; they are better than I. I like to be just a tad early, but right on time for the most part. Being too early makes me crazy.

Case in point, I had to move my car at 8 a.m. My guy's flight gets in at 11:15. On the way, I need to stop at a store that opens at 10:30... So here I sit at 9:38, going C*R*A*Z*Y! My makeup is on, my apartment is clean, I am just waiting to leave. I probably should have gone to the grocery this morning, but now there's not quite enough time to do that...

Right now my guy is somewhere over Colorado (thanks to flightaware.com) and I just want him here. Now. It's been two months and two days since we last saw each other, which is not long in comparison to some distance relationships, but the longest he and I have ever been apart in our five and a half years (today!) of knowing one another.

I don't know how, but I made it through the last two days of work and am looking forward to seven days with him. We have a loose schedule of great things planned, including two free movies, a day at Universal, hopefully a day at the beach if the thermometer can manage to crack into the 70s... I do have rehearsals for the mini-musical, but other than that, it's just he and I!

Needless to say, I'll likely not be blogging much...

Survivor: Warranty - Outlasting and going out of my freaking mind!

It is almost 4 a.m. and I should be sleeping.

I just spent a ton of time on my other blog compiling a list that was all involved, as if I'm still a participant in a past activity. Now my alertness has shifted from an activity that I know all too much about to the reality of my sales job, at which I'm still a novice.

I've been working on an entry titled "My job makes me feel bi-polar," but have yet to finish and post it. In a nutshell, sales is full of extreme highs and lows. Two weeks ago, I wrote seven deals; three of which came on the same day! That's called a hat trick and it makes you feel pretty damn good. The managers kept asking me what I was doing differently and acting as if I suddenly "got it." No. Not at all. I truly believe it's the leads, and maybe that's part of my problem. That week I was using the log in of a veteran employee who was on vacation. I was calling people who literal requested the information online twenty seconds prior!

Last week I should have had four new deals and three post dates. None of the post dates went through and one of the deals was disconnected after I got bother her VIN number and credit card info; I just needed to transfer her to verification but haven't been able to get her back on the phone. That's a very frustrating situation. As a result of only putting three deals on the board last week, I was back to a horrible "agent number" today, calling leads that were six weeks old. What the fuck? I am so sick of working at a place that fosters the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer... And they wonder why they have to hire a new training class every four to six weeks?

Friday was the last day for my closest female coworker; I miss her, but we all knew it would happen because I don't think she ever did more than three a week. All last week a male coworker, who I give a ride to work, was out of town. Today he came back and was told some managers wanted to outright fire him, but another "fought for him" and the requirement was that he had to get at least one deal every single day, or he'd be gone. That's rough because normally the probation period requires five deals in a week, no matter when or how you come by them. He didn't get a new deal today, but a post date hit the board for him, so we're not sure if he's good for tomorrow or not. Either way, he hates it and is ready to move on; meaning, I'll be the last of my training class left on my shift. There were four of us and now just me...

But I've taken this Wednesday to next Wednesday off since my guy will be in town. I haven't been on probation, so the time was given without question. I expected them to tell me just to take the full two weeks, since only two days in a work week doesn't do much for anyone in my job, but they did not. Now I'm awake at 4 a.m. thinking I should make that extension for myself.

I did try at work yesterday, but it was miserable and unsuccessful. If today is the same, all that does is put a huge target on my back! I know I'll be on probation as soon as I get back from my vacation. Then there's the fact that the Thursday and Friday I get back are show nights; I'll need to leave an hour early to get to the musical. I feel like I'd be better off not going in today and then extending my leave through all of next week. That way I'd go back Monday the 22nd and have a full work week to get five deals and be in the clear again. Does that make sense?

I am usually not one to shy away from making money. I'll do what I have to do to make ends meet; I mean, obviously, I've been enduring this bullshit for six weeks now! But I really feel like going in today and not getting a deal is worse than not going in at all and the meager amount money I'll earn today barely feels worth it.

Per my request via an email that basically said everything written above, my guy (the sales manager) just called me. His words of wisdom? "Effort goes a long way in getting someone to cut you some slack." Gggrrr! *sigh* Eye roll.

I know he's right, but it's certainly not what I wanted to hear when I'd pretty much talked myself out of going to work today.

Two weeks ago when I got seven deals, I felt like I could do this job; once you're on a roll, it's not hard anymore. But when you're dealing with people who don't even remember requesting a quote, it's an out-and-out fight to get their credit card. Even though the company is credible, closing people in a single call almost always requires some sort of white lie; it's never about the coverage they get, and price is always a negotiating tool, but rather it's about why they have to buy today. When you're getting new leads, creating that urgency is like a comment mentioned in passing; it's fine because they wanted to buy anyway. But when the leads are old, that white lie becomes a heavy dead horse that you have to beat over their head for thirty fucking minutes... I don't get exhausted from talking to people, following my script and responding to their objections. But when it becomes a fight and everything hinges on the white lie reason they have to buy today, I just can't take it. This is not the kind of job for me.

I've proven I can do this job, when given the opportunity with legitimate buyers, but I'll gladly be fired before I become like the cold hearted douchbags I work with who think it's funny to take the last dollar from someones bank account based on the complete lie that if not today, they could never get a warrenty on their car, that's a piece of shit no matter what!

So what will get me through six more hours of it this afternoon? Probably Silly Puddy and secretly working on my lines. If by chance a buyer actually picks up the phone, that will be great, but if not, I'll harbor no feelings of inadaquacy. In the game of Survivor: Warranty at least I outlasted the other newbies of my shift!

Over It!

I am at work, hating my job right now! I'm calling leads that requested a quote six freaking weeks ago! That's pathetic. And I'm only working today and tomorrow, then I'm off for a week while my guy's in town. Needless to say, I am checked out, completely! No one's answering, so I'm working on lines for the musical.

Nothing like an evening stroll on a movie lot...

Last night I met a Universal coworker/former scene partner/friend and his partner for an employee screening of Land of the Lost. This is not a movie I would have ever considered even seeing on dvd, but since the screening is free, and we have to tell our guest it filmed in Stage 27 and I feel really cool being on the lot, I went... Oh, and I had nothing else to do on a Friday night. I tried to have an open mind and it was slightly better than expected, but still not my cup of tea. Neither Will Farrell nor the plot did anything for me. The dinosaur named Grumpy and Matt Lauer's cameo were both fantastic though!

After the movie we decided to find Stage 1 where Conan O'Brien is now filming Late Night, since the tram is now going a different direction to show the guests. It's probably adding three to five minutes to the tour and taking us by sound stages that we know nothing about. The funny thing about movie lots, or Universal's at least, is that the sound stages do not go in order. For example, Stage 5 is next to Stage 16. Also, what appears to be a single building might house or connect multiple stages, so it's very confusing. One of our stall clips features Jason Alexander talking about getting lost his first day of filming Seinfeld.

[The two photos below are things seen on the front lot that I found random and amusing.]













Anyway, we walked in circles for a while and finally decided that Conan's new theatre must be in an unmarked building right up front by one of the gates. As tour guides, my friend and I have "All Access Passes" and can technically go anywhere on the lot as long as we're not interrupting filming. Many employees walk the lot for exercise, but we were both still hesitant to use our privilege, especially since it was 9 p.m. and we had a guest with us. But after passing a couple security guards without incident, we became braver! We decided we would walk a bit more, and my friend decided he had to go to the restroom. Restrooms only accessible to the outside were open on one of the stages and I said, "I'll go too, just to say I went in Stage 24!"

My friend wanted to walk around inside Stage 28, which still has some of the Paris Opera House sets from the original Phantom of the Opera (1925); it's supposedly haunted by Lon Cheney. I was relieved when all the doors were locked. We journeyed past the production bungalows and I took a picture with the giant Mr. Potato Head that sits by the Hasbros offices and with the Alfred Hitchcock silhouette painted by the door of his former bungalow, #5195. (I know I stress my anonymity on this blog, but I think the quality of this picture is so poor, it's no big deal.)


We walked behind the sound stages the the tram passes to the lesser seen, older ones, where a production crew was striking a set (tearing it down). We noticed at least five different stages that were labeled for Desperate Housewives, indicating which sets were inside.






At every point I felt like perhaps we shouldn't go any farther, but there there would be one more thing we wanted to see. That is especially true of the ongoing construction of the metropolitan sets. We gazed up at the half-built structures and pondered if they'd be done this month, as the rumors say. They seem much larger, taller and more substantial than before. Then again, my friend and I had been employed only a week and barely experienced them before the fire.

At this point we had officially crossed from the front lot to the back lot, where (as we tell our tour guests) "the world is just around the corner." And so are the coyotes and bobcats! No sooner did my friend mention them as the main reason we're discouraged from walking around back there at night, did we hear them howl! I called my partner, who was fast asleep in Ohio, and he assured me that they're more afraid of us...

By this time security had driven by us a couple times, but after the first flash of our badge, didn't even slow down. We were smart enough not to walk into any of the construction but rather follow the road beside it which eventually leads to an intersection of sorts between Six Points Texas, the Red Sea and New York Street. From there, we could see another section of the Metro sets were more accessible; we carefully walked in and decided it was being used for filming. It was free of construction and complete with set dressings. As we proceeded farther in, we found ourselves in Court House Square. COURT HOUSE SQUARE! As in, To Kill a Mocking Bird, Back to the Future and now Ghost Whisperer.

One of the misconceptions after the fire was that it was destroyed, but it was not. The actual Clock Tower building and a row of facades adjacent to it were not touched. I literally ran up the steps of the Clock Tower. We stood in front of Melinda's antique shoppe called The Same as it Never Was. We pondered if the cracks in the sidewalk were real or made to look that way by a set designer.

Even though the moon was almost full above us, there were few other lights and it makes me sick that my phone's camera couldn't capture any of it. As I wrote after my first walking tour of the lot as a new guide, the feeling of being ON THE LOT is incredible. I mean, just standing where great actors have stood is amazing and feeling the energy of a place that holds all the potential in the world is indescribable! It's remarkable how real the facades look while still holding the magic of being transformed into anything, anywhere and in any time period. At the same time, it was eery. That, obviously, came from the darkness and my general jumpiness. I felt like at any time something could creep out of a shadow, be it a coyote, a security guard, a Ghost Whisperer ghost, or the Creature from the Black Lagoon! One of the faux brown stones had its door standing open; it was gaping blackness that sent a chill up my spin!

We decided there was a possibility our cars could get locked in the garage, so we headed back toward the front lot. On the way, were made a loop around a large, unmarked building, and decided it must be the infamous film vault. That is something we're not allowed to talk about on the tour; during our training they said they'd point it out to us, but never did. Behind it is a smaller two story building with several outer doors on both levels, like a motel. It's industrial, raw, old look seemed more like jail sells to me. First we thought they were old dressing rooms, but none I would ever want to use. You could tell it was old by the door nobs and each door had a light by it, so we decided they must have been dark rooms for film developing. Again, very creepy.

My friend had to use the restroom again and so we went to one right behind Six Points Texas. With the ominous moon above us and what looked like an old western ghost town before us, it was certainly unsettling, but so, so cool! We were on the opposite side of the sets than what the trams drive by. It's amazing how many different environments can be created in such a small space.

Finally, we walked back into the front lot and once again by the production bungalows. Like peeping toms, we found ourselves taking a closer look! Again, we only ever drive by them. Upon closer inspection we found an influential casting office where we both plan to hand deliver headshots! We unsuccessfully tried to locate Ron Howard's parking spot by the Imagine Entertainment offices, but did find Marc Platt's by Reveille (the producer of Wicked and Ugly Betty) and legendary producer Dino De Laurentiis (he won an Oscar for La Strada and produced hannibal and the original King Kong). Their offices were both amazing; yes, we literally looked in the windows.

My friend desperately wanted to walk down into the Amblin Entertainment bungalows, but I would not. Amblin is Stephen Spielberg's production company; his offices are sort of behind the others. Though you can clearly see them from the tram if you know where to look, even nodding in their direction is grounds for immediate termination! My friend gave me crap for picking the jasmin that is now filling my bedroom with a wonderful aroma and he warned me several times not to put these pictures on Facebook. I replied, "this flower will not get us in trouble, but I like my job and my clean criminal record too much to step foot toward Spielberg's bungalows!"

Nearly two and a half hours after the movie ended, we finally left the studio. We had to have walked a two or three miles. I would have never guessed a stupid Will Ferrell film could develop into such an inspiring evening! Being in that environment makes me want to learn all there is to know about the history of Universal and it makes me want to devote all the time and energy I have to becoming the best possible actor. Well, I guess that's laughable at this moment, as I'm blogging at 5 a.m. and I have a rehearsal at 1 p.m. for a show that opens in less than two weeks with a script I received only a day ago!

Nonetheless, I love being a tour guide...!

Holy shit - I am STANDING in COURT HOUSE SQUARE!

Only in LA...

Yes, I believe that is a teal vintage hearse.

I took this picture some time ago, but it's been on my phone. It was on Ventura Boulevard in Studio City. Speaking of, until I moved here, I never realized these line in Tom Petty's "Free Falling" were about a real places: The San Fernando Valley, Ventura Boulevard, Mulholland (drive).

All the vampires walkin through the valley
Move west down ventura boulevard
And all the bad boys are standing in the shadows
A ll the good girls are home with broken hearts

And Im free, free fallin
Yeah Im free, free fallin
Free fallin, now Im free fallin, now im
Free fallin, now Im free fallin, now im

I wanna glide down over mulholland
I wanna write her name in the sky
Gonna free fall out into nothin
Gonna leave this world for a while

And Im free, free fallin...

A scientific encounter of the church kind...

First, my roommate and his friend apologized profusely about Saturday night; they paid for my entry and drinks at a nearby comedy club last night to make it up to me. It was good times.

-

The following took place a couple weeks ago, the first time I went to Central Casting, and was hand written on scrap paper while I was at work last week:

She didn't look like an alien! She was an attractive, short, bubbly woman of Asian descent...

When I first ventured to Central Casting I was approached by a photographer on my way in, as well as a representative from another calling service. In terms of marketing, it is a smart place to catch people who are likely new to the biz. As I left, the afore mentioned woman approached me, offering an acting seminar. "It's being held at a beautiful French casting in Hollywood." she said.

At no point did she say the Church of Scientology but the flyer she gave me did and everyone knows that castle is called the Celebrity Center. It is an absolutely stunning mansion right in Hollywood. Of course it is gated and surrounded by bushes and trees. Across the street is a row of cute cafes. I've driven by a few times and wondered, if I were to sit at one of those cafes, might I see Tom Cruise?! It is an extremely congested traffic area and I quickly learned to avoid it, if possible.

Anyway, I chatted with the woman at Central Casting. She was extremely sweet and I'm always intrigued to hear what people are pitching... She spoke about the two guest speakers, a casting director and B-list actress. She mentioned the parking was free several times, but not the $17 fee written on the flyer.

The seminar began at 7 p.m. and I told her that's when I got off work and likely couldn't get to Hollywood until 8 p.m. She wanted my name to hold my seat. I gave her my first, but refused to give my last name. We joked about having our information "out there" too much. She was persistent though and although I knew I wasn't going to attend I somehow gave her my phone number.

I walked away asking myself, "why the fuck did I just do that?" Well, because I was smart enough not to give my email address which is my whole name! My outgoing voicemail message only includes my first.

That afternoon a man left me a voicemail to confirm and then another one around 5 or 6 p.m. That night I was honestly stuck on a call at work until 7:20. I thought about calling them back, as to not be a no-show, but I did not. I had made it absolutely clear to the woman that I would be late, if I made it at all. Then the man's message suggested I arrive early; their lack of communication made me feel I had no reason to be accountable to them. Even if I could have been on time, I would not have gone.

Please don't freak out or be concerned for me. I would never in a million years become a Scientologist. I am not a fan of any type of organized religion. I am, however, always interested in hearing the philosophies by which people lead their lives. I'm the bitch who would invite the Jehovah's Witness' into my home just to challenge them.

I personally try not to judge people based on their faith. I think the world would be a much better place if everyone would acknowledge that we don't all have to believe the same thing. The superiority complex people have about their religion makes my stomach turn! We really expect everyone to think the same about things as subjective and personally important as spiritual beliefs? Really?

I digress. As much as I would absolutely love to see the inside of the Celebrity Center, I don't even want to be on their radar! I should hope the Scienctologists would respect my disagreement with their religion; however, given their Hollywood connection I was concerned about being black listed! I mentioned that to my roommate and he joked that in this town, it's not the Scientologists you have to worry about black listing you, rather it's the Jews! Roommate #1 further shared that some of his friends had gone and described the experience like "being locked in a time-share meeting!"

According to #1s friends, at the Celebrity Center they perform some sort of test that monitors your heart rate in order to calculate your stress and negative energy, or something like that. Then they keep you there for hours trying to convince you to let them "fix you." He didn't know if his friends attended under the guise of an acting seminar or something else.

Needless to say, I was so thankful there were no solicitors of any kind the second time I went to Central Casting and though I doubt I'll get off so easily, I hope this is my last brush with the Hubbord worshipers!

A very strange night out

With this post I'm doing two things:

First, sharing some things that many of you will not like. I think I've written that before, but this time I'm confident that disapproval will be vast. Nonetheless, this is reality! Second, this will solidify that my new roommates will never learn of this blog.

I think my new roommates are great and I feel much more alive in my new locale thanks to all that's in walking distance. For the sake of this blog, let's call them roommate #1 and #2. Although #2 is who I communicated with during the process of getting this place and who I share a bathroom with, he's always at work or with his boyfriend so I barely see him. #1 and I are becoming fast friends; I got him an audition for the musical festival and he's taken me hiking in the Hollywood hills.

This weekend #1 has his closest hetero male friend in town for a visit. He got here this afternoon and they invited me to hang out with them at the nearby park. They chatted about old friends and I tried to get a tan. Back at our apartment #1 cooked a fantastic supper for the three of us prior to going clubbing. At first, of course, the friend and I exchanged pleasantries. Then he asked #1 if he could call #2 "fag." WHAT? They kind of joked and I said, "well, if the f-word is fair game, then I'm going to start asking for wardrobe advise... I didn't realize it was cool like that..." Later during supper their friendship baffled me more. He also uses the words homo and "so gay;" we discussed racism, sexism and stereotypes.

On one hand it's great to have discussions like that. On the other hand, this friend was totally crossing the line, in my opinion. He says homosexuality doesn't bother him, that his band plays at a gay club twice a week and that he loves #1 (as a friend). But he also said he knows he's a little bit racist and sexist; even #1 agreed with him, saying "all stereotypes come from somewhere." I found myself reminding my roommate, "you're a minority too, so you have to know that you can't believe every stereotype 100%." To that he replied, "I'm not a minority, I'm a white male." "YOU'RE GAY!" I said.

There's a very thin line between proactively using humor to point out the ridiculousness of stereotypes and using humor to excuse your belief in stereotypes. Although our supper conversation never got heated and nor did it make me dislike either one of them, I felt like they thought they were doing the first, but to me they were actually participating in the later. I used to have black friends with whom inappropriately race jokes were made but everyone involved knew the comedic intent and parameters; tonight felt different. I think the friend actually thinks the words he used are alright to use all the time and #1 tolerates it for some reason.

Anyway, long before supper was prepared, we figured out the logistics of the evening. Though I do enjoy the effects of alcohol, I am ingrained with the anit-substance abuse lessons of my youth and have no tolerance for substance use and driving. We agreed that since #1 likes to drink wine while he cooks that he would "pre-game" and I would drive his car over the hill to West Hollywood where he would not consume anything, but I would. The estimated time spent at the clubs would be more than enough to render him capable of driving us back.

On the drive to West Hollywood, where all the trendy gay clubs are, they smoked a bowl. Or is it bull? It sounds like bull when people say it, but I think it's "a bowl" when it's out of the small glass thing. I've only been around weed a half dozen times in my life, so I'm familiar, but not well versed. I know some of you are gasping. How could I allow myself to be in a vehicle where illegal activity was going on?! The thing is, I was raised in a sheltered rural community, to believe that marijuana was something that only ethnic gang-bangers did in scary urban centers. I've come to learn that could not be farther from the truth. I now know people from every walk of life who have or do smoke pot. Period. Reality. To some, it can definitely lead their lives a stray and to others it seems to be no different than a nicotine fix. At my new sales job there are a handful of guys who are openly pot heads. Lucky for them, there's no drug testing and somehow they still sell there asses off.

I'm not saying I condone smoking weed; I don't entirely understand it and I don't have an addictive personality, so it's presence is of no consequence to me. I rarely drink alcohol due to its expense and calorie count, so my talking about weed is of absolutely no concern... What I am saying is that I've come to recognize that it's a reality in life and much different and less horrible than it was initially presented to me in my youth. While I had a couple friends who smoked in college, it is only now becoming something that I encounter more frequently. Is it irony that I now have a roommate that smokes and coworkers who aren't guarded about it? Or is it a California thing? I have no idea...

Anyway, I have witnessed fully functional, yet stoned individuals, including roommate #1. This evening, however, was different. Once we parked the car and headed to the clubs, he and his friend were clearly unsober. Thankfully, we were in West Hollywood. There were gay men as far as the eye could see, with the occasional lesbian and hag, like me, so I at no point felt unsafe. The company of #1 and his friend was no longer enjoyable though. The first club we waited in line for wouldn't let us in, telling my roommates, "you look like you've had enough, you'd be a liability."

We kept texting roommate #2, who claims he's always out in WeHo on the weekends, but he never responded. So, I was stuck with super high roommate #1 and his hetero friend who kept saying, "look at all the gay dudes... but I'm okay with it..." Sometimes drunk or high people can be fun but this had crossed to the embarrassing.

Prior to having a drink myself, I was waiting to see my roommate begin to sober. It was a sight that never came. Rather, he was ready to go home surprisingly soon. The friend, who wasn't as affected, and I pressed on to a dance club. For a while it was fun; I hadn't been dancing in a long time. A go-go dancer up on a platform looked like Brittney Spears and the music was good. Then #1 dismissed himself to the bathroom and never came back. By this time the friend was getting drunk, so I insisted he and I find #1. I received a text from him that he was around the corner at a coffee shop. What the fuck?

Although the club right next door is literally called my name, we didn't make it there. We retrieved #1 from the coffee shop and headed back to the car. I, obviously, drove back to the Valley. #1 seemed to be back to normal on the way home while his friend passed out in the back seat.

Did I have fun tonight? No, not really. It was strange. I don't need to drink to have a good time, but it is a let down when your night out turns into a baby sitting trip. I don't mind that I was able to give two friends a safe night out, but I question if they had much fun either. I understand drunkness and drunk people, but I'm still trying to figure stoners out.

The strangest part happened between the two of them at the coffee shop and back at our apartment; they had rather rough exchanges. They'd share a pissy look and say "fuck you dude, seriously..." I had no idea where it came from. It was so random! Was it the pot or had I missed something? Back at our apartment the friend even said, "I hate this guy." I joked, "you have mood swings, two hours ago you loved him." I wish I could transcribe the specific lines, but I don't remember. I'm now on my second glass of very deserved wine. Much like the supper conversation, it was littered with inappropriate words and half jokes, half truths. At one point the friend remarked, "why did you invite me out here?" I quickly said, "good night guys, I'm going to bed." Just as quickly #1 said "____ sandwich" (insert my name) and they did a joking Night at the Roxberry thing from that popular old Saturday Night Live sketch.

It was all SO weird. Are they mad at each other? How can you call someone your close friend when they use derogatory terms about who you are? And moreover, will they remember any of it tomorrow...? Unfortunately, I will.

'Sweeney Tidd' - The Mini Musical that won't Die!

Luckily, the short musical Sweeney Tidd is not so easily met with demise as those who sit in the chair of the original Sweeney Todd!

The writers of this show offered me the female lead; I auditioned for the director last weekend, only to learn he had to quit and the writers didn't think they could pull it off on their own. Now one of the co-owners/directors of the theatre will be running the rehearsals; he is the same gentleman who called me into audition for last years roles with this musical festival and recently helped me move!

No worries, my character will not be singing about the worst meat pies in NoHo, rather she is in love with the church choir director who she assists. I haven't read the whole script yet, so I don't really understand the name, other than a correlation with the shunned and mentally unstable lead male.

The festival opens June 19th and thought it's only a ten to fifteen minute musical, I do hope I get a script and music soon!

Never mind the mini musicals...

This morning I found out that I won't be in the short musical festival this year. I was glad to hear the role of the 40 year old went to someone else, as I thought it was silly they even asked me to audition. I am bummed that the other musical, for which the writers directly offered me a role, has been canceled. The director had to quit, due to his day job and the writers don't feel they can commit enough time and money to do it on their own.

I am officially an "Excellent" tour guide

Yesterday I picked up a shift at Universal; it was nice to get back to an enjoyable job, but throat was killing me after only my first tour. Right now we're outfitting all our trams with high-definition video monitors. They really do look great, but they're not fully functional; the HD trams only have ten, maybe fifteen, video clips and the clip numbers are different than we're used to. This means guides on HD trams have to talk substantially more and if you get stuck in a long stall, you're quiet frankly screwed! Half the trams yesterday were HD, but somehow I got very lucky and never had to use one. By the next time I work all the trams will be HD, thankfully they'll also have all one hundred and fifty clips; I'll just have to learn their new numbers.

It was only the second time I've worked at Universal since October or November. You may recall, my first shift back I was evaluated; my verbal feedback was good and yesterday I got my written evaluation. Overall I scored 93.5 out of 100. Of course, I would have preferred an "exceptional" rating of 96 to 99, for which I would have received five bucks at the employee cafeteria, but I am very happy to fall into the 92 to 95 "excellent" category. 86 to 91 is "very good" and anything less is unacceptable.

Specifically, I received 30 out of 30 for the personality category, which is comprised of energy, enthusiasm, warmth and smile. Content was my weakest section, getting 26 of 30 points. As I mentioned the day of the evaluation, I confused Andre the Giant for Lou Ferigno in one of our clips and mixed up the fictional communities of Fairview (Desperate Housewives) and Grandview (Ghost Whisperer). I also forgot we're required to state the production companies with a few titles that filmed on our lot. I don't think that's too bad under the circumstances. I received 23 out of 25 for delivery (entertainment value, pacing and timing, voice and diction, appearance and grooming and pre and post experience.) I only lost points on timing, which is also just a result of being a little rusty; it seems a little awkward, but you need to start talking about things before the first car gets to it, even though the third and fourth cars can't see it yet. Finally my media (mic and clip volume, on-camera presence and media selection and mastery) score was 14.5 out of 15.

Today I volunteered to work a morning shift at my sales job. Getting up at 6 a.m. was not as bad as I thought and thanks to the holiday the highway was wide open. The shift went very quickly and I got one deal, but as I feared, I got back to my apartment and fell asleep! I only got about four hours of sleep last night and my hour nap this afternoon turned into five! Oh well...

Hopefully I can still get to sleep tonight, as I agreed to go on a hike in the Hollywood Hills in the morning with a coworker before getting back to my normal 1 to 7 p.m. shift.

What a Day!

It's 9 p.m. on a Friday night in Los Angeles and I am sitting alone in bed, drinking coffee from my favorite mug; I have an outstanding parking spot right in front of my building and no intention of moving my car until work Monday morning! It's amazing how a parking spot can totally justify hermit-like behavior!

So... I unlocked my door and walked into my apartment, relieved that a horrible work week was finally over! But then I noticed a slip of paper on the floor outside my bedroom with a picture of a hot dog on it. Odd. Then there were two more small papers at my door and a breeze coming from my room. They were coupons that had blown off my desk. At this point I stood frozen in my bedroom door, staring at the balcony door which was wide open before me!

Do I rush out of the building? Is there a killer standing behind me? Should I call the police? Things darted through my mind as my eyes quickly processed the scene. My laptop and checkbook were still laying on my bed, exactly where I had left them. Nothing was moved or missing. I looked in my roommate's rooms and nothing appeared to be disturbed. Of course, I immediately called both my roommates; neither answered. Then I sent a text. The roommate who also has access to the balcony replied that it had not been his doing.

I thought back on my morning; I overslept and left my room a bit of a disaster, thus I am 100% sure I closed my bedroom door when I left for work. Also, the sliding vertical blinds over my balcony door had been opened, indicating someone had to have been on my bed to get to their cord. Ew!

I decided it was a roommate issue and not a security threat so I did not leave or call the cops. The balcony is only accessible through two of the bedrooms; I assumed the third roommate came through my room to get to the balcony. Of course I was pissed that he would come through my closed door instead of the other roommates open bedroom door. And beyond pissed that he would forget to close the balcony door!

Literally a moment ago the suspected roommate replied to the text from two hours ago, saying "Eek sorry. They did an inspection. sooooo sorry."

Now I am relieved that it was neither a criminal act nor roommate disrespect. It is definitely frustrating that he and the building management forgot to shut my balcony door though! That's ridiculously irresponsible on both their parts!

*sigh*

This was a really rough week at work. I believe it was two weeks ago we had free pizza one day for setting a new sale record and the top rep in the company received a $500 bonus check for doing fifteen deals a week for three weeks in a row! This week that rep only did seven or eight. The top reps on my shift, who normally do ten to twelve deals a week, only did six this week! We simply didn't have good leads to call. I once again found myself dialing people who had asked for a quote three weeks ago and had already been attempted thirty or forty times! Not surprisingly, I only have one deal to my name this week (I also got a "post-date" but it'll count for whatever week the credit card is actually run). Under the circumstances, I don't even feel bad about my poor performance.

I think I've mentioned before that the hourly wage is the same for 0 to 3 deals a week, then it jumps up $2 for your fourth deal and a dollar is added for every deal thereafter. So when you only have one deal on Friday, there's not much motivation! This may be a horribly attitude, but the likelihood of getting three deals today and making my effort monetarily worthwhile was slim to none. My first day on the job I got two deals, but it's been only one per day since then...

To make matters even worse, the managers have been a little edgy this week, for good reason. In our pre-shift meetings they've been harping on focus and saying they want energy and enthusiasm rather than folks playing poker on their cell phones and mine sweeper on their computers. I smile and nod but am internally rolling my eyes at this notion! I am an actor and have been a spokesperson; while some may find this disingenuous, my personality and customer service skills have become a finely tuned light switch. Trust me, I can go from being half asleep, checking my email on my phone to pitching a customer with all the focus and enthusiasm in the world in a split second! Eagerly staring at your computer screen, waiting for someone to pick up, only makes you want to strangle yourself with the cord of your headset!

I am not guilty of mine sweeper or poker, but rather stealthy texting and chatting with the woman I interviewed with and now sit beside. Lucky for them, the email and internet on my phone work too slowly in the building or I'd be online the whole time. Today I occupied the time by hand writing a blog post, to be typed in later. I'd give anything to be able to sit there and paint my nails! Everyone is amused that I bring silly putty to give my hands something to do!

The past two days I've been having serious issues with my phone. Customers would complain I was cutting in and out. It's hard enough to get someone on the line, I can not afford them not being able to hear me once I get a hold of them! Yesterday I hooked up a different phone and headset adapter. Today I found myself saying "hello" several times before they'd hear me. Most people hang up if they don't hear you soon enough, so who knows how many leads I lost. The people I actually spoke with complained they could barely hear me; I had to nearly swallow the mouth piece and scream at them. Finally I decided to take matters into my own hands and test it. I call my guy from a second line while my computer kept dialing on the first line. Like everyone else, he didn't hear my first few words, then he said I sounded faint and was going in-and-out.

Then, my computer screen picked up a call at the exact moment a manager walked up behind me. Fucking fantastic. I quickly picked up the other line and said hello fifteen times, but the person I was calling wasn't there or something. I turned to the manager saying, "my shit isn't working!" He joked that that could mean a lot of things. I clarified that they couldn't hear me, to which he snarked, "maybe because you're on the other line?" I explained what I had done and though this manager is really cool, he didn't seem to believe me. "I made a personal call to test it and he couldn't hear me either," I said. "If he couldn't hear you, how could he tell you he couldn't hear you?" asked the manager.

I found myself extremely defensive and frustrated! I can't stand looking bad when I haven't done anything wrong. In retrospect, I should have asked for my manager's cell number and done my test on him, but whatever... He listened to my headset and thought it was fine. My line was truly not working and I really didn't want him to think I had made an outside call only for personal reasons, so I persisted. I ended up changing cubicals, which kind of sucked because it took me away from my preferred area of the office. Nonetheless, I immediately got someone on the line at the new cubical and gave a pitch that required a take-over. I guess that made me feel like I'd redeemed myself somehow, or showed that I was willing to work (even though overall I didn't care). The same manager was unable to close the crotchety, old Floridian customer, so again, whatever...

After I decided my apartment hadn't been burgled, I sat down and opened my paycheck; I ended my shitty work week by finding that I have been under compensated. First of all, I made four deals last week, but I was paid the 0 to 3 deal rate. That $2 upgrade makes a huge difference, so I'm pissed! Next, one of my deals last week required me to stay forty minutes extra but that wasn't reflected either. I'm really hoping it's a mistake, but it's possible that one of my deals may have screwed me by doing a same-week-cancellation. I am left wondering how I've endured this absolutely horrid job for four weeks now!

But for now, I need to ignore my work-week reality and practice songs for an audition tomorrow afternoon. It's for the role that the writers offered me, pending the hiring of a director. I have no idea if the director is auditioning multiple women or just choosing to make me go through a formal audition even though the writers have already picked me. All I know is that my throat hurts, I'm out of vocal shape, but I need to pull together two contrasting pieces in the next fourteen hours!

Central Casting: finally registered!

First, my guy thought my last post sounded like I was excited for "the big one!" Of course not! Yesterday the Long Beach area had another medium one that made the news; I did not feel it either.

Next, I chatted with a good friend from Ohio; his amusement at some of my stories has motivated me to be a more diligent blogger! Hopefully I can get all of my back-logged tales in type over the coming week or so...

Finally, the point of this post is to say I finally registered with Central Casting Monday morning. They are the top agency to supply TV shows and movies with background artists. They are a calling service, meaning 95% of the work an actor can get is based on the actor calling a hotline daily to see if they fit the needed types.

Non-union actors can register on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays from 10:30 to 11:30 a.m. Last week I had gone, but didn't get there as early as I'd like; I decided I'd rather go back another day than stand in the very slowly moving fifty-person line. I arrived at 10 a.m. Monday to find about fifteen people already there. However, most of them were sitting around the extremely large table filling out paperwork. (I had typed and printed all my forms from the website.) I knew where the line would start and sat there to wait.

You are instructed to come camera ready, with regard to your hair, makeup and attire. It's interesting to me to see how some people interpret that! Granted, extras need to look like "real people," but many of them didn't look like they knew they'd be photographed. There was really only one extreme case and she was pretty unbelievable!

Imagine, if you will, a bewildered woman clad in a skimpy black dress. It was a tight jersey material with lace around the hem and v-neck. With its spaghetti straps and lacking length, it seemed to perhaps be sleepwear. The dress was the least of her problems though; below it she was wearing bright read, wide, fishnet stockings! You guessed it, at the bottom of it all were four inch, platform, acrylic stripper heels! The cherry on top was her long, blond, fake hair, clip-on ponytail!

The thing was, she wasn't wearing five pounds of make up, or a look upon her face that said "slut" or "bitch." Rather, she looked lost and vulnerable. She was carrying a huge black duffel bag. I felt awful for her. I imaged the contents of her entire life was in that bag and someone must have told her, "Take the Grey Hound to LA, work the pole at Girls Girls Girls to get your $25 to register at Central Casting in the morning..."

I wanted to take a discrete picture, but she was close enough only once and I would have felt guilty. Not surprisingly, a sleazy guy quickly aided her in filling out the paperwork! At about 10:35 two employees came out to explain the process. Of course, some morons insisted on asking personal and insignificant questions and thus, the line didn't actual form until almost 11 a.m. Registration consists of showing proper identification, since you have to fill out tax forms to get paid, having an employee check that your forms are correct and complete and having a picture taken. There is a one time fee of $25, with the requirement that you update your registration at least every two years.

For an additional fee you can add headshots, but they take a picture of you that day so it's actually what you currently look like. The picture taking experience was about as uncomfortable as the DMV! You stand on an X in front of a white screen and once it's clicked, you're done. You don't get to see the picture! On one hand, I can understand that's to keep the line moving, but I hate that I have no idea what image casting directors are viewing! I'm usually pretty photogenic, but still...! They recommend you go back to update your picture (for free) every six months or so. I want to practice in the mirror and go back next week!

So have I booked a job through them yet?! No... I listened to the hotline last night, this morning and tonight, but there hasn't been much on it. They recommend you call often from 2 to 8 p.m. If that's when all the good jobs get posted, I'm screwed, because that's when I'm at my sales job. The hotline takes forever to listen to because there is 30 to 60 seconds of silence between each recording. An example of the various recordings is: "Hi this is Jane Doe the casting director. I am booking This Show for This Date and I'm looking for women of This Body Type/Specificity. Wardrobe for the shoot is This. If you fit, call me at ###."

If you fit the type, you call that casting director, they look you up in the database and say yes or no. Punctuality and professionalism are expected onset, or you'll be reprimanded and possibly suspended from Central Casting. As my faux manager, my guy has volunteered to listen to the hotline for me during the critical hours. If he hears something good for me, he can text me the details and phone number. I am able to make a short phone call while I'm at work, I just can't be listening to a 3 to 6 minute recording throughout the day. Although... I could dial out through my headset, so I'm not busted with my cell phone to my ear! Of course! I feel so stupid for thinking it would be a problem. Duh - my job is being on the phone! I'll just have to figure out which button on the phone to hit to flip back to the sales dialer if my computer screen shows that a customer has actually answered their damn phone.

My guy will be in LA to visit me in mid June. (I can not wait!) I haven't figured out exactly how I will be asking for that time off yet, but it makes me feel like I shouldn't take too much off before then. Of course, I will be listening to the hotline and will definitely call for any great jobs, but I'm not immediately jumping into the extra work full force. At least I am now registered! It's both a good fall back and will definitely put me in the right places where incredible opportunites are known to happen!